In this modern era of iPads, e-books, and Amazon, it’s never been more important for real-life bookstores to attract potential readers in the best way they know — with quippy signs! These bookstore signs certainly did not disappoint and would definitely get us off the street and browsing a bookshelf in no time.
Don't Risk It
On behalf of the bibliophile within your friend group, we have a suggestion: do not – we repeat, do not – risk bears over books. It's just not worth it. Books are always a safe bet, and sure, you probably want to see what adventure awaits in the unknown, but why not explore the unknown from the safety of a book?
Better yet, you can get a book about bears — from scientific to more imaginative works like fantasy novels. Take it from us, it will definitely be risk-free when you consider the fact that you're safe and sound in your apartment while tucked in with a good book under the covers.
Despite all the technological advancements and their best efforts to drive distractions through the heart of the printed page and our brain's attention span, there are still some bookstores that are putting up the good fight. Here's a sign that reminds us how important books are for us and our attention spans.
Books are not only your reward for having an attention span, but reading will also improve your concentration. So why waste your precious phone memory on that meditation app you'll probably never use? Just get a book and enjoy the mind-altering effects that come along with having a decent attention span.
Books You Can Sink Your Teeth Into
The sheer number of fantasy books published in any given year is quite unbelievable, and it doesn’t help matters that this genre is so series-heavy. From "The Vampire Diaries" to the Twilight Saga, vampire culture has seduced fiction lovers the world over, and the main victims of this fixation are teenagers.
Vampires were originally a monster to be feared, and the books about them were just as scary. But nowadays, they've transitioned into a staple in young adult fiction. This obsession has garnered some kind of cult following, and this even manages to take over the entire Young Adult section of a bookstore.
You Convinced Us!
If you're anything like us, you've always wanted to be a hero; ever since we were young we've daydreamed about saving our crush from tripping over or rescuing a kitten stuck in a tree. Well, according to this sign, today might be your lucky day so you better make the most of it!
You can be a hero too, all you have to do is help these poor, orphaned books escape their indoor fate! Not only will you feel better for having saved them but you'll also get to take these books out and enjoy reading them in a park somewhere. That sounds like a no-brainer!
At Least You'll Have a Book
Even if a book doesn't warm you up, it will give you the kind of warm and fuzzy feeling you’ve been craving for months which is especially necessary when you're in the middle of a freezingly cold winter. So why rack your brain trying to figure out if you should?
Just do it! Buying a book will equip you to better face the metaphorically cold and inhospitable nature of the outside world. Literally though — not so much. So if you happen to find yourself a little cold this winter, you may also want to buy a sweater and a pair of thick socks.
This Logic Is Indisputable
Millions of years ago, there were hundreds upon hundreds of dinosaurs that ruled the earth. Ever since the earliest dinosaur fossil was unearthed, these prehistoric creatures have been at the forefront of our imagination, from early sci-fi novels to big-city museums. They've even graced our screens in "Jurassic Park" and "The Land Before Time."
Many still find them fascinating, thanks to their fearsome reputations as colossal reptiles. Their sheer size and menacing nature would make life for us as human beings pure and utter horror. But lucky for us, they didn't read, which probably resulted in their downfall. Better stock up on some books!
Romance novels are overwhelmingly written by and for women — where women's experiences, desires, and inner lives are placed center stage. But we're not here to discuss romance novels; we're here to address their bad reputation, which is so clearly seen when we look at these cheesy book covers and the lack of shirts.
One of the best things about romance is tied up in something it’s most disdained for; predictability. And just like any other genre, romance novels have their genre rules and conventions. Two criteria must be met for a romance to be a romance: The central plot must be a love story, and the book’s cover must include a well-built man without a shirt.
Another Reason to Love Books
Like many bookworms out there, we fully maintain the belief that any book is far superior to the TV show it is based on. So when "Game of Thrones" first premiered in 2011, we were torn between reading the books that inspired George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series or simply watching the show.
If you happen to like the "Game of Thrones" franchise, then you'll love geeking out about it by comparing the books to the show. Reading the books will help up your banter with family and friends as well — because any worthwhile conversation simply has to feature "Game of Thrones."
What a Deal!
Imagine having the power of invisibility and how amazing it would be. Just think of all the incredible things you could do... Well, imagine no more! For all those Muggles who have been waiting to get their hands on a very rare item, invisibility cloaks are now on sale for 50% off their original price!
Appear to disappear with this marvelous Harry Potter collector item found right in this bookstore. The Invisibility Cloak made its first appearance when Harry received it as a gift, and now you can vanish from view as well, just like the 'chosen one!' The perfect cloak for Harry Potter fans!
It's Always Time for a New Book
Once upon a time, reading a book and actually enjoying it was pretty difficult. First, you had to learn to read; then, you had to find time to read (which is honestly still a struggle.) Luckily, we’re far past such 15th-century taboos, and now there are few pursuits as leisurely and relaxing as hanging out with a good book or two.
Ever wondered when it's the best time to buy a certain item? Well, considering our very favorable reality and the fact that we're living in a relatively progressive era, there's never a bad time to purchase a book! Oh, would you look at that! It's time to buy another book!
With each new year, another billion more books get published and stocked out on bookshelves. So they really aren't going anywhere. And neither are we if we're being honest. So why not buy some? What else do you have going on? This bookstore clearly has all the books you need; their list is exhaustive and sure to keep up with the likes of Amazon.
The sheer amount of books here is just marvelous, literally from floor to ceiling, every inch of this wall is covered in books! With such an impressive inventory of each and every genre, they also decided to display their list of books on this chalkboard. This bookstore is clearly demonstrating some serious cred.
Only One Answer
Keeping up with all the essential-reading lists can soon turn into an overbearing struggle — yes, we all know what it's like! You finish one, then you manage to add three more to the pile of books stacked on your bedside table, and the cycle carries on until it's simply unacceptable.
In light of that, do we really need to buy another book? We can't help but feel as if we're plagued with analysis paralysis when it comes to making purchases, so it's sometimes nice to get straightforward guidance on what we should do, even if we don't *need* a new book.
If you like books and other dorky diversions, there's a good chance you also like the Star Wars franchise. A long, long time ago, in a galaxy you call home, the Star Wars movies garnered universal appeal, which is why so many people recognize Star Wars references in everyday life.
This brings us to this sign with such a compelling message. This sign is so effective because anyone who is a fan of the iconic films will immediately feel like this bookstore gets them and their quirky sense of humor. Perhaps they have more memorabilia that also speaks to us.
It's Difficult to Resist This
As the old saying goes – if you can’t love your shelves, how in the heck are you gonna love somebody else? In earlier times, creature comforts looked quite different than they do now. In days gone by, life was simpler; if you needed some relaxation, you’d likely have booked a scenic trip where you could spend your days hiking local trails.
And at night, you'd be winding down up at the local restaurant. Now, we’re more likely to find that same sense of solace at home, snuggling up with some books and a warm cup of hot chocolate. So why not splurge a little on some new books? Your shelves will thank you!
This Is True
Seriously guys, sometimes we all just need a break. We're not suggesting you stick your head under the proverbial rock and ignore reality. We're suggesting you take a moment every other day and escape into a world that's a little nicer or fantastical or maybe even a little more thrilling.
After all, if we were trapped in a difficult situation and someone offered us a temporary escape, why wouldn't we take it? So go ahead and solve that mystery with your favorite detective, Sherlock Holmes! Or if romance is more your thing, then delve into some of Danielle Steels' love stories.
Someone Needs Glasses
Whoever made this sign is not afraid to call people out for walking past a bookstore. Maybe they somehow didn't notice that it was a bookstore, or it could be that they really needed to have an eye test. Walking past a bookstore without entering is only a mild offense; there are far worse crimes one could commit.
But honestly, if you catch yourself walking past a perfectly good bookstore and you have a few minutes to spare, why not go in for a little gander? Otherwise, if you don't see the point, you might want to make an appointment with your optometrist, or even better, call your shrink!
Books Are for All Ages
While we no longer “need” to read children’s books, we still want to, as much as we'd hate to admit it. Why is it that we still enjoy books intended for younger audiences? It's not that there's anything wrong with us, we swear! It's just that sometimes these books are incredibly captivating.
There are times when these books can console and comfort an adult just as effectively as it does a younger person. It goes without saying, but a good book is a good book, and good books rise to the top, no matter for whom they’re intended. So how much younger reading do you do?
Grumpy Cat Has an Important Message
This sign must be one of the best we've seen so far! The most obvious reason is that it features a grumpy cat, which also happened to be one of the internet's most beloved animals, and this recreation perfectly expresses how we would respond if someone said to us we "have too many books."
While not explicitly telling us to shove someone, it subtly and with a bit of humor shows us what a cat would do. And as with all cats found on the internet, we can't help but laugh at all their silly antics and adorable expressions! This a hilarious choice for a sign; well done, Curious Iguana!
Blind Date, Anyone?
We are all familiar with the dread of going on a blind date; it can be painfully awkward and make you unreasonably self-conscious. Just thinking about it now is making us nervous! But imagine having a blind date with a book. Now that seems far more enjoyable.
This bookstore sure knows how to market its stock, each book is wrapped and summarized to give potential suitors enough of an idea if they would like it. If this idea for a 'blind date' picks up, it may even revolutionize the very meaning we come to associate with such a dreaded notion.
Death by Pop-Up Ads
Truth be told, pop-up ads have been around for quite some time now, and their battle for our attention has only become more and more pervasive. It's safe to say that the vast majority of online visitors want pop-ups to disappear, but they won't be going anywhere for a while.
So if you find you simply can't stand the ads, it's time to visit your nearest bookstore and buy up a stockpile of some delightful stories. They will keep you company when you need a break from your screen, whether it be scrolling on the web or channel surfing while watching TV.
Every Book Is a Tardis
Kaleido Books have a mad sign game. This one has a reference to "Doctor Who," the beloved Television series that's been around since 1963. If you know anything about the TV series, you'll know that a couple of decades is nothing for a Time Lord, but it's definitely a long time for a TV show.
Seeing as a Tardis is "Time And Relative Dimensions In Space," which is basically a fictional hybrid of a time machine and spacecraft, it perfectly fits a description for a book. So while Time Lords use a TARDIS to travel through time, we can also do so with a book!
Sad But True
In a single generation, Amazon has grown from an emerging online bookseller to one of the most powerful corporations of our time. But with that being said, activism and community are the backbone supporting local stores. So why not show them your support when they sponsor local causes and your kid's ball team?
Yes, shopping online might be incredibly convenient, and we do sympathize with that, but it doesn't beat support from your local bookstore; you get to see books in real life and come in contact with actual human beings! We are all social creatures after all so it must be better than shopping online.
Are you tired of having to look at boring and often misleading book sections at your local bookstore? Well, this bookstore decided to create its very own alternative sections to more accurately describe its books. The result; light-hearted fun! Just look at this shelf that's been aptly titled "Anxiety-Inducing Books".
Amongst these books, there are SAT math workbooks, a book titled "Where's Mom Now That I need Help?" as well as guides to help you pay for college because, well, those are books we certainly wouldn't buy for fun, just looking at them makes us break out in a sweat!
We all know what it's like to procrastinate, it's like playing the time-limit equivalent of limbo — how long can we go until we have to get to work? Could the deadline be not as urgent as it seems? But for some people, procrastination is just how they operate.
For those people, feeling pressured to complete a task helps them thrive. So when we see a funny sign like this, we can definitely relate to how accurate it is! If you happen to be procrastinating RIGHT NOW, then maybe you should get back to work! (After you're done reading this article, of course. And do the dishes. And replace the AC filters.)
The road to adventure is paved with non-electronic entertainment devices. So much so that the owner of this bookstore decided to make a sign to promote them as an unending source of entertainment. As made clear, books are ideal for natural disasters like hurricanes that sometimes result in power outages.
Being stuck without access to electricity can be scary for many reasons. For one thing, you can run out of battery on your phone with no way of charging it. Even though you can't scroll through Facebook, you can always read a book while you wait for the power to come back on.
Spilling coffee on a book is definitely not one of the things a self-respecting adult should be doing. But wait, it can get worse, it can happen to a book on display at a bookstore. Thanks to those who clumsily drank their coffee while looking at books, new rules had to be enforced at this bookstore to keep such madness in check.
At any rate, this is one of those serious blunders that are unacceptable after you become a “real,” fully functional adult. If you want to convince people you're a mature individual, then you might want to learn how not to spill your coffee all over someone else's books.
More Accurate Signs
The first step on your path to enlightenment is to acknowledge your problem areas. Sure, you want to learn how to cook, and you have every intention of making three new recipes this week, but we all know these ambitious recipe books are probably only going to be collected on your shelf.
They've even set out some takeout menus on the shelf underneath. Now isn't that nice? If you are still considering purchasing one of these books after you've read this sign, you might just be stubborn enough to learn, or maybe you just like collecting cookbooks. Either way, good for you!
Jerry Seinfeld said this, so it must be true! If aliens were ever to land on Earth in the dead of night, they might stumble upon an independent bookstore, and without knowing it, they find proof that we are an 'intelligent' lifeform. If they stumble upon a football pitch... well, there's not much we can do.
Now we also need to let the aliens know that they should stay away from Twitter, cause that's a whole different story... So when was the last time you set foot in a bookstore? If it's been a while then this might just be the sign you need to visit one ASAP!
It's That Time of Year
At the risk of sounding like we’re turning into our parents, we secretly pine for that magical time of year when pumpkin spice is everywhere when the air starts to get chilly, and when we get to make fun of people who like leaf-peeping while simultaneously planning hikes with their printed maps.
It's safe to say that people, for the most part, like the fall. But there are some people who really like it because it means they get to stay in, sip on some hot chocolate, and read a decent amount of books, and what better excuse do you need to read more books?
When Only Kafka Will Do
If you spend enough time reading, only Kafka will do — as the baby in the drawing can attest to. Many of Kafka's stories are incredibly vivid and imaginative, focusing on the absurdity of life, while his writing style maintains a strangely nonchalant and indifferent tone throughout many of his pieces.
His style of writing is so distinct that scholars have even coined the term "Kafkaesque." If you've been exposed to some of Kafka's work, you may experience symptoms like confusion, frustration, discomfort, or any combination thereof. They say the best remedy for those suffering from these symptoms is to read a good book.
If you can't get people to read books by telling them how great they are, why not try fear? After all, fear is a basic human instinct that is useful to protect us from danger. In certain contexts, it can be fun. In this article, it can even be educational.
The idea is simple; if you stop reading, you'll experience a weird, almost terrible phenomenon — you'll turn into a cartoon monster, and who wants that? So you better pick up a book and start looking at some pages with printed letters on them! If you don't, humanity might be doomed.
Is Ignorance Bliss?
There are a lot of times in our lives when ignorance really is bliss. Like before we were old enough to drive or when we believed that Santa Claus brought us all those presents. But when it comes to reading, ignorance only brings about unnecessary suffering, horrible decisions, and some serious damage.
Thankfully, there's a treasure trove of books that line the shelves of every bookstore, from exciting debuts to the return of some of the best well-known writers. Now, all you have to do is select a few interesting titles from a massive array of books. At least you're spoilt for choice!
Be Just Like Batman
Ever needed to escape the world and dive into a mysterious universe? Well then libraries might just be the place for you! They're like the perfect hideouts, providing a sweet escape from reality. But libraries aren’t just sanctums of knowledge and places where you can furtively hide away from your problems.
They're also places where you can borrow books. Sadly, however, some people never return their books to the library. If giving the books back isn't cool and hardcore enough for you, just wait till you hear that's exactly what Batman himself does. If Batman returns, you have no excuse not to.
Being Bad With Banned Books
Isn't it funny how we all hate uncertainty but just love a good mystery? Seriously, just tell someone you have a secret you can't tell them, and watch how they'll desperately try to make you blurt it out. This is why this little corner of censored books is both compelling and shocking.
If you’ve been following the news recently, you’ve probably seen headlines about a new push to ban certain books across schools. In the "Land of the Free", who knew that reading could become so dangerous? If you were inclined to grab one of these, you should take it home and read it immediately!
Hitting Us With the Facts
Everything this sign says is true and verifiable. Reading can pretty much give you superpowers. Well, not exactly, but it's basically the next best thing. From empathy to critical thinking, reading can even reduce your stress levels! Who knew you just had to open a book and broaden your horizons?
Now after learning all this information, you'd feel foolish to just walk past the library without going in and consulting the librarian about which book you should get! Honestly, this sign really intrigued us when it mentioned "Confidence," but it really sealed the deal with the part about aiding our concentration.
Losing Your V-card With Books
Library cards or gift cards for bookstores can feel pretty boring and uninspired. The most common, mainstream notion about books is that they are both nerdy and rather dull. I mean, who wants to reveal that they like reading if it will only make people think you're a boring loner?
Getting people to think about pleasure in the context of books is exactly what literature needs in order to stay alive in our modern era. So go to the nearest library, find yourself a shelf you're interested in, and look for a nice-looking book. We're sure you won't regret it.
The Best Defense Is a Good Book
What is small talk all about? Why do we feel we need to discuss the weather or changes in the neighborhood with people we don't really know? Well, we have some good news for the wallflowers of the world. There's a research-backed method to help you battle through awkward conversations.
And it comes in the form of a book! Seriously, who needs social skills when you live in a world full of books? Riding the bus or waiting in line, just make sure you have a book in your bag and you'll never have to worry about making small talk with random strangers.
Laughter Is the Best Medicine
Humor can save lives, especially in times of crisis, such as we have been having globally in recent years. If you're sick of the way the world is, just know that things are changing at such an exponential rate so, who knows? It might not really suck in the long run! It could all seem like we're living in a sci-fi novel in a few years.
The takeaway here is that nothing last forever and this bookstore totally gets it. With a sign like this, we're reminded how fickle life can be and that even book genres can change in an instant. But to be frank, if it weren't so clever, this sign would almost be scary.
Real Books Don't Die
Since smartphones have found their way into our pockets, lives, and hearts, there has been a rapid change in our entertainment preferences which has also meant a declining interest in reading and books. The rivalry between good old printed books and letters on a screen has never been more apparent.
While reading on your phone or Kindle has endless advantages, this sign got one thing right — books can never run out of battery because they don't need one! A printed book also keeps all of your thoughts and actions private, and in today's world, that's a breath of fresh air.
Hippies who hold "Free Hugs" signs on the street have never really gained the popularity and sympathy they were hoping for. While the common squeeze while wrapped around someone's arms can be both comforting and healthy for nervous systems, hugs from strangers for no apparent reason have never been too appealing.
But what happens when you need a hug from someone who understands what it's like to lose a fictional being? It happens too often and there's just nothing you can do about it. So why burden your family and friends when you can just go into this bookstore and get all the sympathy you need?
'Tis the Season
For people who love to read, books are a year-round activity. Still, you have to admit that when the weather is bad the idea of staying in with a good book becomes even more appealing. So why not take a few easy steps to prepare yourself in case civilization crumbles under the snow?
This is crucial, people. If you're planning on hiding in your apartment, then you'd better make sure you've got plenty of books to help keep you, well, sane. That way, you'll be able to thank your past self for thinking ahead and making this purchase for the next time you're snowed in.
Feeling It in Your Bones
While not technically true, this little street sign is great for Halloween, and it might convince little kids who thought the reading was too uncool to give it a try. It is true that when you find a book you truly connect with, you can literally feel it in your bones.
If you've ever felt the suspense of a thrilling book or enjoyed the rapture of new love then you'll know it's the best feeling one can have. Even if you thought you had a bone to pick with books, they actually just might grow on you and find a way to get under your skin.
Fishing for New Books
Using imagery from popular TV shows and movies is always a great way to draw people's interest so they'll pay attention to what you're trying to say. Like this sign, which includes a drawing of Dory, the friendly Blue Tang fish from "Finding Nemo", who also suffers from short-term memory loss.
Even someone with Dory's attention span could get the message here. We all know what it's like to love books so much that we just can't stop ourselves from buying new ones. Fortunately, there could be worse things to be addicted to — have you ever seen a shoe-lover's crowded closet?
Have Fire in Your Belly
To combat the bad image we have of book lovers, one must think outside the box. Why are people who love books called bookworms? No offense to worms, but nobody really seems to like them... they should really work on their image, but let's not get side-tracked and veer off-topic.
So why not think of another phrase, something a little more serious, like "Book Dragons!" It's fierce, it's fiery, and best of all it will finally mean people will take us seriously. It's the only way our book clubs will ever be accepted as more than just a social club.
Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time
Enthusiastic people usually can't stop talking about whatever they are passionate about and don't really worry about whether the person they're communicating with cares to listen. If you aren't interested in the same topic, it can be incredibly tiring and tedious to pay attention, but if you do, there's nothing better.
Talking at length with strangers is not everyone's favorite activity, but hey, if you like books, this place might be your kinda vibe. So before you go into this specific book store you have to take that into consideration and be prepared to have someone talk your ear off about the newest trilogy.
Imagine John Saying That!
Imagine all the people reading all the books, realizing all they need is love... and books, of course. We are actually 100% sure that John Lennon would have approved this message, even if he is being misquoted in the name of selling more books, so we'll just let it be.
Books played a significant role in shaping John Lennon's ideas and philosophies, which can clearly be seen in his music. For example, his song "I Am the Walrus" was inspired by Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking-Glass." Lennon's interest in surrealism and the power of imagination can also be seen in his songwriting.
Those who loved to read as children know this problem all too well. If you're anything like us, you may have also spent hours and days reading books from the library and even developed your whole personality around the books you loved. Oh, to be free of responsibilities and consumed by books!
But, alas, when we got older, responsibilities knocked on our doors and locked away all of our books in a forgotten land called "free time." Still, while reality does get in the way of reading, books are also a part of reality, so we're sure you can find time for them.
Books Are Thicker Than Water
We have met many different people in our lifetime, but not once have we met someone who enjoys the feeling of slipping and hitting the ground. Still, for some reason, we have encountered numerous people who choose to ignore signs that advise them to proceed with caution — maybe they just like to live dangerously.
At any rate, there are some serious injuries you can incur if you don't watch your step and carefully tread over a wet floor. Nevertheless, the prospect of slipping into a book is much safer than slipping into a puddle. Maybe you should give it a try, you might be surprised.
Enjoy the Silence
It was the English band "Depeche Mode" who sang the song with the lyrics "Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm." They may be right to a degree, but one thing's for sure — some people have a way with words, and when they write, it's both powerful and vital.
Most of us aren't that good at writing, but that's okay, that's why we can turn to people like Shakespeare and J. K. Rowling! Or better yet, find a romance novel if you want someone else's words to speak for you, just don't forget to put a bow on it.
There's No Other Choice
There are some people that just can't stay away from the crisp feel of fresh pages, the smell of old paper, and the flip of books, new or ancient, being filtered through their fingers. Even if you point out that a person could be spending a great deal of money on books, they can't do anything about it.
This sign points out that, yes, all that money that's been saved would still be spent on books. Even if you aren't buying physical books, nowadays there are so many other ways you can consume literature, like e-books, and audiobooks. So if you aren't spending it on that, are you really spending your money right?
Come On in and Buy Our Product
This is the kind of sign that could sit outside any kind of store or cafe and still get a chuckle from onlookers, but it certainly seems intended for those who appreciate witty comments. Apparently, this guy couldn't come up with an actual witty phrase that's also thought-provoking for this sign.
But what he wrote still manages to get the message across and seems to be witty in its own right. At the very least, it will make some people giggle when they read and maybe they'll be tempted to go inside and find something that's hopefully a little wittier to read.
We're Going to Need a Doctor's Opinion
Books don't physically make you bigger unless you eat them, which may have been why we were such chubby toddlers. We assume this sign is talking about a more mental or emotional process, but someone who doesn't have that kind of information in mind might get a little confused.
You will not actually physically shrink if you stop reading books, with the caveat that if you exchange that time for physical exercise, you might, indeed, become smaller. But you can enjoy books while working out – as many people do. Audiobooks have become very popular for a very good reason.
Because You Need It to Live
There are many who find it impossible to get through life without diving into the pages of a written book, whether it's horror, fantasy, science-fiction, romance, historical, or even nonfiction. If they have to go a single day without reading, they will get grumpy at best and despondent at worst.
However, after a very pricey consultation with a doctor, we were told that, no, we don't actually need to read to keep living. Still, that's no reason to stop one of our favorite hobbies. We have also been informed by the same doctor that you DO need to keep breathing to live, however.
It Comes in Patterns
Books about fairy tales and fantasy were all the rage when you were a kid. You were able to read about magical worlds, filled with knights and fairies! Sometimes you even encountered a dragon! But once you start growing up, stories about fantasy and make-believe begin to lose their appeal.
However, eventually, you reach a certain age – it's different for every person – where a bit of escapism and happy endings about the good guys winning start to sound nice again. C.S. Lewis might have said it best. He was an eminent 20th-century thinker, writer, and all-around smart guy.
This Place Has It All
Looking for clothes to refresh your wardrobe? After a fun gift for somebody that can't get enough books? This place is ready to supply you with everything you need. Sure, they might have toys and games and other stuff like that, but the books are center stage at this place.
Grab one for your next quiet weekend or one for your next relaxing evening. We love the detail and the decoration that comes with this message, but of course, it's perfect for the season – there's a Christmas tree right next to the sign, so they'll want to make everything look festive and bright.
And There Are Plenty of Options Right There!
Free books are one of the best things in life, even if you aren't all that interested in reading "Understanding Psychology." Maybe someone out there is. You don't know. Thankfully, there are plenty of books behind that one that you can browse through to find something nice for your next day off.
And then, of course, you have the delightful manipulation of the classic "Carpe diem" phrase. We aren't totally sure if that's translated perfectly, but "Carpe Librum" looks close enough for us. All you have to do is fumble around the box and you're bound to find a book or two you like.
You'll Feel Better
Franz Kafka is the kind of writer that is hard to ignore. If the name is familiar, then you probably know it from his short story "The Metamorphosis," the one where the guy turns into a bug. Otherwise, you may have heard of his other novels "The Trial" or "The Castle."
It's harrowing stuff, so why not dull the pain of existence with your favorite kind of spirit? While it seems like Kafka could have been from Russia, he was actually born in the Kingdom of Bohemia, which is modern-day Austria and Hungary. He never had any connection to Russia, but the rhyme was too good to pass up.
Yes, it would be amazing to get a new car for Christmas, no matter how impractical it really is. What happens if it's a car you don't like or if the color isn't what you wanted? Or worse, what if it doesn't have a cute little cup holder that can hold your coffee?
Maybe you've always wanted wax undercoating? But, of course, that's not what you're getting. All in all, a bunch of books is a much better gift. It's cheaper for you, they're far easier to carry, and you don't have to pay for gas. Which is a big bonus in this economy.
At the End of the Day
If you're like millions or billions of other people around the world, you probably spend a few minutes reading at the end of the day. Maybe it's just a few pages, or maybe it's huge chunks at a time. For many of us, it's hard to find the time to settle back with a book.
There is a job – or jobs – that takes up a lot of time. Never mind all the chores, errands, and other things you have to attend to. Maybe you want to spend time with friends or have kids to handle. It can be hard, we know. That's the best part about books – no expiration date.
How to Make Friends
Horror has never been the biggest genre in literature – that crown pretty much always goes to romance – but there are plenty of people that love to get a chill down their spine while they have their eyes glued to the page. The success of writers like Stephen King is a perfect example.
Many classic works of literature, like "Frankenstein" or "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," are examples of horror. Even if you live alone, you, too, can get the sensation of having someone around the corner or breathing down your neck, only this time instead of feeling all on your own you feel scared that you aren't.
Don't Mind if I Do
Here's how to punish someone that loves to read: Have them sit down on the couch in front of the television and turn on one of the current reality TV shows. Soon enough, they will be tearing their hair out and begging for sweet release within mere moments. Want to turn up the heat?
Avoid the competition shows like "American Idol" or "Survivor," and choose something that's even worse, like "The Bachelor" or "Big Brother." No competition to get excited about, really, just vapid people running around while pretending to be important. Once they have given up, then they may go to their rooms.
Well, as Long as Your Heart Rate Is Up
It's too bad that this person isn't a medical professional or anything like that because then, his opinion would have been great. But, in reality, turning pages takes very little energy, and even the most incompetent and non-effective personal trainer probably won't add any page sets to your workout routine.
You could do what the guy in "Gattaca" does and do sit-ups while holding a bunch of heavy books. That would work. Still, if your heart is racing, that's a little, tiny, infinitesimal bit like exercise, kind of, and almost. Maybe you could find a book with really heavy pages.
Use Your Reading Skills
Sure, movies have a lot of advantages. There's nothing like getting a bunch of friends together to make fun of a Pauly Shore movie. However, the amount of enjoyment you get out of a book is far more, it usually doesn't take as much work to produce one as a movie.
Plus you get to learn fun words like caliginous. We'll wait while you look that one up. Isn't it great? Plus, a book is almost always a better form of a story than a movie since books can have a lot more detail, you can reread things that you might have missed, and you don't need electricity, usually.
Seems a Bit Unnecessary
Yes, it's true that books these days are made of paper, and paper is made from trees, but this sign kind of got out of hand. There are lots of ways to get rid of books that you don't want anymore, even if they aren't really as fun as putting them through a lawn mower or a wood chipper.
You could give them to friends, donate them to a library, find a cardboard box and place it on the side of the road, or sell them to a second-hand store. Who knows, you might get a little bit of extra money, plus, someone else gets to enjoy your books.
But You Already Have Them
Is the bookstore all out of books? How did they manage to run out? If they need more, they need to go to the publishers and stuff, not ask for the customers to bring in their own books. Oh, no, wait, the customers are the page-turners because they're actually doing the turning.
Well, that's not very fair. Some signs make you think about it a little too much, and you just end up feeling annoyed. Maybe you'll have to step inside and tell them to knock it off. Oh, wait a minute, that book looks interesting, maybe I should see what it's about.
If You Get Lost, Maybe You Belong There
People who love books all know the feeling of not being able to put a book down. Maybe it doesn't happen much anymore since there's so much else that takes up your time, but you can still remember looking up at the clock to find that hours have passed while you flipped through the pages.
It could have been any of the books on your shelf, maybe even "A Random Walk Down Wall Street" if you're a finance person or "A Walk to Remember" if you like romance novels. But, if you find yourself lost in a book, it might just turn out that you need to spend some time there anyway.
Make Use of Your Time
An extra day! It only comes around once every four years, and when you think about it, it's really weird, isn't it? We somehow made a calendar that is three hundred and sixty-five and one-fourth days per year, which means we have to add an extra one every four years, or stuff starts to get really confusing.
For some reason, we added it to February – which apparently has been voted as the worst month – probably because it's so short and has Valentine's Day. Still, you could use that extra time to get some reading done, and maybe you'll feel a little better about a longer February.
Yeah, Never Clean, That's Great Advice
We're not going to mince words here. This is a pretty bad sign. Yeah, you should have at least a little bit of downtime every day, but not cleaning up just to read instead. That's how you get a disgusting home. Hopefully, the sign at least means cleaning the dishes or the toilet or something and not cleaning yourself.
Please make time to clean your home. If you have time to shower or read, choose to shower, you nasty! It doesn't really take that long, does it? Just rinse, at least. Then you can read. Think of it this way: you don't want to get your books all dirty, do you?
Travel From Home
You can go anywhere. You can go everywhere. You can go to Narnia or Middle-Earth or Lebanon or France, all just by picking up a book that is very likely already sitting on your shelf. There are millions – billions – of places that you can go without having to walk out your front door.
All it takes is visiting your bookstore. Might we humbly suggest "The Last Kingdom" series by Bernard Cornwell? In this captivating historical series, you can visit the ninth century and find out what it was like when the Danes, led by Viking warriors, invaded and started taking over pretty much everything in England.
Never Let a Moment Slip By
The best part about books is we need so much time to absorb every little page. Even smaller books can take hours to finish. But, maybe you're feeling pressure for the rest of your life. You're running out of hours in the day to turn pages. We're here to help.
Do you carpool? Ignore the chatter and get through a chapter. Waiting for the microwave? Gobble up a couple of pages before you hear the beep. We all have to poop – there's even a book about it. Five minutes between meetings? You can't really get work done during then. Might as well tackle a page or two.
Books Will Never Leave You for Somebody Who Likes to Do More Than Read
We don't know about you, but this sign makes us kind of sad. We love books (we have an ever-growing list to read) but if you're sobbing to yourself on Valentine's Day, and your only other option is to read a book, maybe think about what you might be missing.
Take a walk, maybe? Sure, Valentine's Day is usually chilly out, but there are lots of places to walk. You could do some volunteering. A zoo is a nice choice, though you might have to deal with lots of clingy couples. Or keep it simple. Just read. That's fine too.
Are You Prepared for Your Next Book?
Reading a piece of powerful fiction can be a potentially dangerous and unsettling thing. You might be introduced to new forms of thought, new ideas, and new ways of looking at situations that you might not have thought of yourself ever before. This can be quite scary for a lot of people.
Most people want a story that reaffirms them or their way of thinking, even if that's the exact same thing they've been consuming since they started thinking on their own. But be careful, you might be exposed to an idea you would never have on your own! Now that is bone-chilling!
Eh? Eh? Get It?
Only REAL readers will get a reference to this unfamiliar piece of fiction. If you don't know about "Lord of The Rings", don't even try to talk to us. There's a movie series that is regarded as perhaps the best trilogy ever made, and everybody's read the books, too. Oh. Well.
This sign is trying to attract something like the lowest common denominator but for books. Sure, people who don't like to read books might not have enjoyed Tolkien's works on screen, but anybody who likes fantasy or tends to keep up with culture will have at least cracked open "The Hobbit."
An Extra Letter Makes a Big Difference
We aren't ghost experts, but it makes sense to think that ghosts wouldn't be able to pick up any new paperbacks once they pass into the spirit realm. That has to be frustrating. For them. We guess they could still listen to audiobooks, but that would require working ears and we can't know for sure they have them.
Look, there's a whole mythology there, and we're very excited to explore it, but let's get back to the sign. Once you develop a love of reading, it's very hard to do away with it. Sitting on your deathbed, you might think, "so many books to read."
The Classic Combination
Books and beaches go together like books and beds, or books and parks, or books and long car rides. You get a little bit of sun and a little bit of fresh air, and you get to ignore all of it while you read. Plus, there are some more advantages that the sign points out.
We can't say for certain that seagulls won't steal the book you've chosen for your time away from the office, but it's a pretty good bet. Maybe they'll be really big fans of James Patterson or something like that. Our advice? Go for something denser. Seagulls stay away from Russian lit.
Can We Get Snacks, Too?
Dying usually isn't as fun as it's cracked up to be unless you're sacrificing yourself to stop an evil monster from entering the world as you wield a magical sword against an approaching army. That's fine, we guess. But wouldn't it be better just to stay put and get some reading done?
You know, that way, you won't have to die at all! You can spend your entire life just sitting and reading books, and there is almost zero chance that you will die at all! But, and this is important, it isn't actually zero. The chance is still there.
Do You Know How Heavy Books Are?
Santa probably groans every time he sees this kind of request. Books might not seem that hard to carry, but pack twenty of them into a cardboard box and see how many flights of stairs you can climb before you run out of breath. It probably won't be that many.
If everybody asked for only books this Christmas, Santa would probably have to make many more trips than normal to haul all those tales around the world. And those poor reindeer! Yeah, they're magical, but they still have a maximum load. Time to hit the training field, Rudolph and friends.
We Can Only Use This Sign Once a Year
People who are one-quarter Irish love the annual St. Patrick's Day since it gives them an excuse to go around being noisy and sloppy and drunk. Why not read instead? If you wish you had more books on the shelf, there's only one place to visit – your local bookstore in town.
Or Amazon or the library or one of a million other places, we guess, but let's focus here. Why not head to your local bookstore, support a local business, and pick up a couple of fun books at the same time? It's a win-win-win kinda situation for everyone involved.
Available to All
No cords or wires. No outlets. No batteries. No passwords, terms of service, cookies, or worries about being hacked. Books have endured as a primary form of entertainment and will continue to be big for these reasons and more. As long as you can understand words, you can read a book.
Okay, fine, we guess you need light, too. You got us there. But that's still a much shorter list than most of the other forms of entertainment that are out there now. And they're easily transportable, too. Most of them, anyway. Carrying around a later Stephen King can be a struggle sometimes.