The 1970s were filled with some very peculiar mechanical decisions by car makers around the world, and the 1973 Lincoln Continental Mark IV was just one of these choices. It might be a very pretty car to look at, especially when you imagine yourself in an Elvis costume, listening to rock while cruising the freeway. Unfortunately, not everything about this car reflects the glory of the ’70s.
The Continental Mark IV was mostly a very sluggish, boring, and lackluster car in terms of performance. It might have looked good in a movie poster or parked outside your noir-style Malibu home, but anything involving driving it would inevitably disappoint you. This car was definitely more show than actual performance, which is why we’re happy to leave it behind us, only to see it here in there in old-school retro car exhibitions and 8th hand editions on eBay.
2003 Saturn Ion
The Saturn Ion is the closest thing to a life-sized toy car you could ever own. The idea was, “Let’s make a car out of plastic and see what happens”. Indeed, everything was made of plastic. The insides were plastic, the coating was plastic, even the doors were mostly plastic. The car was a massive failure, with the only perk of it being that it would never get rusty.
Eventually, the company learned from its mistakes and managed to come up with different models that performed much better in the car market. Despite the successful change of direction, the casket was already made for the Saturn brand, and it was shut down by its parent company, General Motors, just a short time later. Regardless of how badly the Saturn Ion was received, there are car enthusiasts all over the country that are still crying out for a respectable, plastic-based alternative to regular metal cars. Oh, the nostalgia.
1911 Overland OctoAuto
Imagine it's 1911, you're walking the streets of Columbus, Indiana with your horse when suddenly, you see a massive 8-wheeled car driving next to you. The 20-foot-long Overland OctoAuto was one of those cars that had to be made just so you’d know what not to make in the future.
The picture above was the work of designer Milton Reeves showing off his creation to dazzle potential buyers of this Frankenstein vehicle. He received exactly zero orders, and the saga of 8-wheeled private vehicles quickly ended.
1971 Chrysler Imperial LeBaron
With a length that would make a boat feel uncomfortable, the 1971 Chrysler Imperial LeBaron was one of the longest cars ever made. At 224 in. long, and over 5600 lbs. of pure American steel, the Imperial LeBaron made even a Hummer H2 look conservative when you see how massive this car was. Unfortunately for Chrysler, if you disregard the impressive length of the car, you realize that that’s just about all it had going for it.
The inside of the car was a lot less spacious than you’d expect for such a long car, and it pretty much just looked like a really long box. The Imperial LeBaron hurt the sales for Imperials for years to come, until the name was finally scrapped in 1983.
Kia Cadenza
While we appreciate the challenge of trying to repeatedly say "Kia Cadenza" really fast, this car doesn't have too much in common with an actual musical cadenza. Rated at an average of 7.5 out of 10 by Edmunds and rated as one of the "Least Reliable" of 2019 by Consumer Reports, the Kia Cadenza is just another entry in the fairly unpopular large sedans category. Its V6 is lacking in power and the ride suffers from boring handling that takes away the fun and excitement of driving.
It's sad that finding a great affordable large sedan is very difficult nowadays. But that does mean that there's not too much competition for this one, despite its less-than-stellar qualities. You can get yourself a Cadenza for the starting price of $33,000 up to a fully loaded model at around $44,000, but perhaps you’d be better off saving for a year or two in order to get the Mercedes Benz which kicks this one into the dirt by far.