There’s a lot to unpack here despite the “letter” being only seven words long. First things first, yes, it is a piece of tissue. Secondly, yes the cartoon man is…umm…displaying some flatulence. Thirdly… well I think we’ve covered everything!
We guarantee that this rather low-budget yet resourceful resignation blew their employer away. Ha Ha.
Grammar Police
Nick and Jessica are so over their job. They are over their job, inventory, and their boss, and terrible grammar. We can almost see the idea of quitting forming in one of their heads — Nick or Jessica probably came in to start their shift and was first met by this grammar scandal.
They quickly pulled out their red pen in an attempt to rectify this monstrosity, realized they had too much work to do as it is, and decided to call it quits on the spot. Elated with that new decision, they added the smiley face to perk other people up too.
Rhyming Resignation
This poetic soul is obviously not cut out for a job in retail. How much creative juice can flow through a job in retail? This person needs a job as a writer, and perhaps that writing career can start with a memoir of experiences from her year of working in that photoshop.
A nice boss playing Jedi mind tricks on his employees, neighboring stores being robbed, overworked and underpaid employees, and even an eccentric character named Torturing Joe — the memoir is pretty much writing itself. When you think about it, it could also work as a TV show. We will be the first to watch it.
Self Confidence Boost
Christian sounds like a fun guy to be around. Just like RuPaul always says — if you can't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else? And it looks like Christian sure knows how to love himself. We don't know many people who take such public pride in their "ethic, wit, charm and handsomeness."
We are sure that there are many places other than CVS which would love to have Christian as an employee as long as he comes with the full package previously mentioned. We know we would.
High on Life
It's usually not recommended to leave a bad taste with your resignation letter, for obvious reasons — you might end up needing your boss' recommendation. Unless you've already got a new job. With a new job, you can finally tell everyone how you truly felt.
Better yet, you can phrase the whole thing as if you've enjoyed every minute of serving fries for $9. Who knows, your old manager might be dumb enough to read this at face value.