Reading this nowadays, it’s all too likely that someone will assume the wrong sort of thing from Russel Mickelson. But just look at that goof. The wacky teeth, the big smile, the earnest eyes, the wildly unattractive haircut – that guy doesn’t have a creepy bone in his body. He’s just a farm kid, getting through high school as best he can, asking if people want to meet Bessie.
Did anyone ever take him up on the offer? We don’t know, but back when this picture was taken, maybe it was a little more likely. Also, can we quickly talk about the quote from Pat Olsen, who wishes “Soda” was closer to “Grace”? What on Earth is that supposed to mean? A soda fountain? Are they two towns? Two schools? What are you trying to tell us, Pat Olsen?
That Explains Her Taste in Music
The guy can’t even be asked to spell his own stage name correctly, are we really surprised at this sort of sentiment? Also, based on how unnecessarily proud Miss Maria is about this fact, we could even guess that she hasn’t listened to The Weeknd all that much. She was spending too much time thinking about her eyebrows, which are quite nice when you get right down to it.
Still, we’re finding it stranger and stranger that graduating seniors would choose the yearbook to brag about how much attention they didn’t pay in school. Our tax dollars at work, everybody. But who knows, maybe Maria is working toward becoming a doctor. Will she still be listening to such music by the time she’s in the operating room?
Anybody Have Any Excedrin?
Because trying to make sense of this senior yearbook quote gave us all migraines. Let’s even leave aside for a moment that “we’re” isn’t the proper grammar for that sentence and just focus on the meaning of the message...which is...uh...it’s gotta be something, that’s for sure. Maybe Jizelle was just having one of those days where her brain doesn't know exactly what to come up with anything really meaningful, so she put down the first thing that came to mind.
Well, she should have given this one another pass, because it doesn’t really hit us all that hard. There is also, of course, the bad grammar, but it’s not like she just spent four years in school or anything. On the other hand, kids in the yearbook club can’t do much else, so it might have been one of them.
Not Doing Good Enough
James DiPietro, who is either leaving or going into the culinary arts, wanted to include a quote from drag queen Willam – saying that he knew he looks great, he has plenty of mirrors. We love the self-confidence, James. But there’s a problem: the yearbook attributed the quote to a “William.” That’s the thing about kids sometimes, they don’t know how to spell.
Sometimes a yearbook editor can get so tired of having to correct spelling that he or she doesn’t notice that the “improper” spelling is actually the way Willam spells his name. James was all excited about showing his idol that he had been quoted, but the people behind the senior yearbook made it impossible. If you want to make sure, include a note that says so.
We Need a Surfboard First
If you know, you know. If you don’t know, this line is from the surprisingly raunchy song by Beyonce called “Drunk in Love.” It also has Kanye West and Jay-Z as featured artists, and Eugene has found maybe the only two lines that are fit to print in a senior yearbook.
We have to assume that this line is an allusion to some kind of adult act, but we don’t really know other than that. And that’s just because it seems like that’s what the rest of the song is. Sometimes it isn’t even allusions. Sometimes it’s a lot more clear. So at the end of the day we don’t know why Eugene included this quote in his senior yearbook. A bet? A dare? Wanted to show off his Beyonce fandom?