In today’s culture, many rappers and would-be gangsters tend to plate and embellish their teeth with various precious materials such as gold and diamond. This is apparently considered to be a status symbol among these cultures despite looking absolutely ridiculous to the average citizens. You’d think that this kind of delicate dental surgery, where a person’s teeth are plated or replaced with a replica from another material, would be somewhat of a modern invention, both because of its usually menial purpose and because of the high requirements for hygiene and sanitation. Apparently the Mayans managed to crack it first and had been doing dental surgeries very similar to today’s literally thousands of years before science was even invented.
The high-class Mayans would often replace some of their teeth with various stones and diamonds such as jade, pyrite, hematite, or turquoise by inserting them directly into their teeth! The surgery would get done by drilling small holes into a person’s teeth and then filling them with these precious materials. This was considered a very vogue thing to do and was a recognized sign of beauty and influence in Mayan society. Kind of like having your own Ferrari or mansion, just a lot less fun and with a lot more toothache. If that’s not going deep enough into the Twilight Zone, you might be interested in knowing that Mayans actually tried communicating with their gods by using enemas. Yup. Enemas. More on that in the next entry.
Yup, Mayans Are Still Very Much With Us Today —
Another common misconception regarding the Mayans is the belief that they were completely destroyed back when they were conquered and decimated by the Spanish forces. This is false since the fact remains that there are still over six million people alive today, who can perfectly speak one or more of the many Mayan languages, and are direct descendants of the original Mayan empire. These living people have preserved much of the Mayan culture and tradition, minus the less sympathetic parts where they sacrificed other human beings to appease the gods. Or at the very least, that's what the official word says they changed.
You can find modern Mayans throughout southern Mexico and northern Central America. They are said to be divided into various tribes such as the Yucatecs, Tzeltal, and Tzotzil. On a lighter note, they still like to play the Pok-a-Tok ball game, now known as Ulama. We're happy to let you know that losers in these matches no longer get offered to the gods as human sacrifice either.
The Mayans Were Chocoholics
Almost everyone in the world loves chocolate. Whether it's sweet chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, or any other kind — there's not much dispute about its awesome qualities. Chocolate is scientifically proven to make people happier, improve blood flow, and generally taste amazing. It can make your day brighter and is definitely a gift from the gods. The Mayans were very fortunate because they had a direct source of near-infinite amount of chocolate since cacao naturally grows in the rain forests of South and Central America. The Mayans quickly adopted the tasty material and found various ways to process and consume it as far as 2,600 years ago.
What's even cooler than the incredible supply of cacao they had, is just how the Mayans chose to use and consume their cacao. It's been widely suggested that Mayans would often mix cocoa with water, honey, chili peppers, cornmeal, and other ingredients to create their version of a chocolate shake. They would often drink these foamy shakes at festivals, rituals, ceremonies, and celebrations. It's been proven by science that chocolate has the characteristics of an aphrodisiac, which might explain the population growth spurts that got the Mayan population to almost twenty million strong. We've joked previously about the Mayans beauty standards and their tendency to replace teeth with precious stones. Let's check out just how far this joke actually goes…
Mayans Would Often Try to Communicate With Their Gods, By Giving Themselves Enemas
Look, even the most advanced ancient civilization in the world is bound to have some wacky ideas. You don't get yourself to the top of the technological ladder without a few looney ideas along the way. Don't forget that the guy who invented the radio was put in an insane asylum by his friends when he told them about his idea of a way to communicate through the air without wires. Anyway, the Mayans were a very religious and spiritual empire and tried many ways to communicate with their many gods and deities to gain their favor and attempt to predict the future.
One such attempt was made by the Mayans getting themselves drunk to the point of seeing themselves talking to spirits and attempting to gain some spiritual insight from these encounters. The problem with getting yourself wasted on highly alcoholic substances with a few psychedelic agents thrown in for good measures, is that you tend to vomit the contents of the beverage out a short time after putting it in your body. One way the Mayans found to circumvent that problem, was by injecting the mixed liquid straight into their rears via an enema. This practice was put into art by Mayan pottery that suggests these spiritual enemas were actually quite a common thing. It seems that the Mayans were even more advanced than our modern counterparts when it comes to harmless mind and consciousness-altering substances. While we're on the subject of psychedelics and other Woodstock related experiences, we thought you'd be interested in learning more about the Mayan’s insanely large collection of mushrooms! Up next…
They Were Master Collectors of Many Kinds of Psychedelic Mushrooms
There is a common theory amongst the supporters of mind-altering drugs that psychedelics that when used properly, can elevate people to higher levels of consciousness and induce their inner genius to awaken. This has been seen multiple times throughout history, with iconic figures such as Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, who's been known for using various psychedelics in his youth and going through several spiritual experiences. Going back to ancient times, many historians suggest that the Mayans had at their disposal over 50 kinds of psychedelic mushrooms which were often used to induce spiritual and religious experiences.
The correlation between the Mayan’s propensity for spiritual hallucinations and their advanced development and understanding of never before seen technology would probably never be properly investigated due to the vast amounts of missing and destroyed documents. Either way, it's a very interesting subject that will, unfortunately, be forever relegated to the category of speculation, but it's certainly fun to speculate. If you think having an arsenal of hallucinogenic mushrooms at their disposable was special, wait until you hear about what they did with toads…