In part 2 of Signs That We Really Want To See In Our Lives, we’ve gathered more of the most humorous and unbelievable signs you’ll ever run into. Some are absolutely brilliant, while others are just small human errors that we get to laugh at. Enjoy!
We Promise to Be Cool!
It's like when kids in class start making noise and only when their teacher is at the end of their wits do the kids understand that each of them needs to just promise to be quiet and commit to that promise. We think this is a totally legitimate request. What if we eliminated politics altogether and promised to live in peace and just be cool to each other?
We all have the same definition of cool, right? Taking into account the latest issues in politics, this idea doesn't sound so far-fetched, don't you think? It's utopic, we know. But it makes you smile for a few seconds to even consider the possibility, doesn't it?
The Definition of Snarky
Being a delivery guy is not the best job in the world. There are a few perks like working outside, occasional tips, and a close friendship with a number of jumpy dogs, but it’s not exactly the stuff most dreams are made of. This homeowner decided to passively aggressively educate their deliveryman about the proper use of a doorbell.
Hey buddy, since when has knocking become a crime? You could just ask nicely you know. Although admittedly it may be annoying if this happens more than once. Something tells us that there were quite a few missing packages before that sign was put up.
Best Dad Joke
What a gem from the Colorado-based Indian Hills Community Center. This sign had us laughing for a while. They sure know how to keep the place alive, even in the dead of winter. Doesn’t it sound like some typical dad joke your father would blurt out in the middle of a family dinner? Yes, it’s cheesy. But great, nonetheless.
Ironically, if humans could choose a kind of pet to operate any kind of radiology device, they would probably have chosen dogs over cats. Something tells us that canines have better bedside manners than felines, and humans need that when someone is taking a picture of their innards.
Big Enough for a Blind Ref
It's not easy being a referee, and we aren't just talking about the nasty things people might shout at you from the bleachers. No one remembers the hundreds of calls you got right and you can’t stop hearing about the one people think you got wrong. Usually, this is because it could make or break the game.
This kid found a creative way to say what’s on everyone’s mind, with a giant phone showing a “missed call” from, you guessed it, the referee. It’s pretty amazing that he had that made and brought it with him to pull out at just the right moment.
Jumping Gay Walrus
This just made us cry with laughter, which we’re sure was the sign’s intention, because what would really be the problem with a gay walrus that wants to jump from the sea to say hi to the people on the bridge? How do you know he's gay anyway? Has anyone ever seen his partner? Does he watch "RuPaul's Drag Race"? Does he have a Grindr profile?
And even if he is gay, how do we know he's fine with this sign outing him to the world like that? Anyways, you should be careful, walruses are quite massive. So yeah, maybe you should look over your shoulder to see if there are any jumping around, gay or not.
Cardboard Proposal
Maybe this guy decided to play a prank on his buddy and welcome him home with a joke. Or maybe, this guy was actually proposing to a longtime partner — in which case we hope he said yes, even though it's not the classiest of proposals, to say the least.
We have to congratulate this guy — either for having the guts to pop the question in a crowded airport, or dealing with the fallout jokes that were surely made after people probably started taking pictures and posting this online. Tom should also be congratulated for keeping up with his shenanigans.
Nothing but Space and Air
While some people might find this sign a little cheesy, we absolutely loved it. To be fair, this sign is completely logical — you would expect a whole lot of nothing in a museum of space and air. From a scientific perspective, though, it's a little inaccurate.
Actual "nothing" would be a vacuum. A void of nothingness. But the air we breathe is most definitely not nothing! It's got all the oxygen we need to live! Plus carbon dioxide and a bunch of other molecules and stuff. Looks like Mr. Sign needed to pay a little more attention in science class.
Philosophy 101
If my feet are shoes, why don’t they keep me warm in the winter? And if they are, in fact, shoes, then what is the actual foot? The part of the skeleton they cover, perhaps? These questions and others will make this sign a staple in any philosophy course around.
Even better, this sounds like great homework, please write 2,000 words by Tuesday discussing the theory of feet being shoes. The sign makes this look more like an existential Google search than a shoe store. The 50% off sign in the front window clearly shows that business is not booming.
Totally Believable
Bravo. Our deepest respects go out to whoever had the guts to actually advertise their motel like this. In fact, if we were to ever pass this sign by the side of the road, we'd definitely make a turn and go check out this fancy establishment. If only just to meet the owner. And their marketing and art department, of course.
Nothing screams 'fancy' like a handwritten sign attached to four poles in the middle of nowhere. We are sure this motel is so busy it's turning down customers left and right. Maybe we should make reservations for next year.
All About Acceptance
While most signs on this list are humorous, this one is actually as wholesome as it gets. These words are a good lesson for all of us. Building a longer table means sharing what you have with others and being more accepting. Building a taller fence means keeping to yourself and pushing strangers away.
Life isn’t always easy, and everybody needs a helping hand sometimes. If you can reach out and help someone who really needs it, you probably should. There’s a reason people say giving back is its own reward — you won’t believe how good it can make you feel.
In a Galilee Far Away
This is just brilliant. We applaud this church's successful attempt to blend pop culture and religion. Wouldn't you be more open to attending Sunday mass if you saw this sign outside of the church? We certainly would, even if it was just to hear if the pastor was planning on making any more Star Wars references.
Gotta love a Pastor who's a Star Wars fanatic. If he ever feels like taking it one step forward, let us propose a Yoda mascot greeting people with "May the Force of God be with you" as they are coming to church. Full house during Sunday service guaranteed.
Beware of the Sign
There's nothing more dangerous than a sign. Its bright yellow color, the black font, the "sharp" edges. Definitely far more dangerous than the bridge beyond it. And don't even get us started on what's PAST the bridge. There are even MORE signs. More scary fonts and more sharp edges.
Maybe that sign needs another warning sign to let us know about this one. We do appreciate the humor, though, since obviously, whoever made this sign clearly meant it as a joke. And if you're not convinced, just read the cheeky fine print below that reads "Also, The Bridge Is Out Ahead".
The Dog Is Actually Adorable
You know how they say that guns don't kill people — people kill people? Yeah, the same goes for dogs. If you train your dog to bark at strangers, that's what it will do, but if you train it to roll on its back and ask the stranger for belly rubs, then that's what it will do.
Here we seem to have a case of a dog that was trained to be a friendly, cuddly creature, and an owner who prefers to defend their property with something a little more explosive. No problem, we'll stay off your lawn. Can we still pet your dog, though?
In a Dog's World
To be honest, we've never wondered about this before, but now that we've seen this sign, it does make us think. Can you believe there's a chance you never knew that your pet got as nervous as you did every time they saw one of those German Shepherd cops walk by?
Since dogs don't see colors in the same way as humans do, it's not like they can recognize them by their blue suits, so maybe it's just certain types of dogs that set off a warning. Even if they weren't police dogs, who in their right mind would go near a German Shepherd or a Rottweiler without a little caution?
Way Too Hot
The First United Methodist Church is all about spreading the good word, but they are also about not melting into a puddle in that unbearable heatwave so they have to get creative. Hence this gem. This is our kind of sign: honest, concise, and to the point.
Bottom line, ladies and gentlemen, sin is bad, Jesus is good, and if you want more details, just come inside (where there is air conditioning, which is also good), because it's way too hot to explain it all in a sign! We would be curious to hear the rest of the details, wouldn't you?
A Different Kind of Bumper Sticker
This guy is not a parent, and he's proud of it! Probably tired of seeing the typical 'perfect family' bumper sticker on every other SUV, this guy decided he would customize one of his own. He took that very same format of stick people representing each of the family members and, well, laid out the family members.
You know, the partner and the Benjamins. Every last one of them. So, for anyone who asks, Yes, he's in a relationship, and no, they don't have kids. And yes, they're VERY happy and have loads of money! Take that for a bumper sticker!
The Coffee-Drinking Psychopath
Drinking coffee in a coffee shop? Absolute madness! The sad part is if you were to actually picture a guy sitting alone in Starbucks, looking at the people around, with nothing but his coffee mug on the table, you'd probably think he was a weirdo too.
We have to appreciate that man's ability to be in the moment. The one plot hole here is that whoever wrote the sign obviously was at the coffee shop and looking at people rather than something with a screen. Ironically, technology has made us the actual psychopaths. We're loving the cynicism of this sign, though.
Doherty, Sean Doherty
This sign is a bit confusing. Is Sean Doherty trying to sell houses or water guns? We really hope it’s the latter. He could be the first ever door-to-door water gun salesman, helping with all your squirting needs. Those jabronies from across the street are about to meet a supersoaker that will blast them into space.
If he ever showed up at our doorstep, we would probably be more interested in purchasing a water gun than a house. We have our priorities straight. Although admittedly, his suit does seem a bit fancy for getting wet. Maybe he wears something else for water fights.
Don't Mess With Someone's Pills
This sign just goes to show just how much effort the Indian Hills Community Center is putting into making lives better for the community. Basically, anyone who drives past it has their day improved by at least 0.032 percent. That is real science. Do not check it though.
We have to say we totally agree with this sign. At least this guy is taking it in stride and wishing well upon whoever took his anti-depressants. To be honest, they probably are very happy. We are just curious if the original owner of the happy pills ever got their prescription renewed.
Mother's Day
Hands down, the best Mother's Day sign. In case you forgot you're the reason your mom drinks, here is this fabulous sign to remind you. And the least you can do is buy her a margarita, don't you think? In any case, these guys are surely going to rake it in every Mother's Day, because no sign has ever been truer.
Though, now that we think about it, don't parents constantly complain about how they used to be able to go out for drinks before they had kids? Seems like people will always find a reason to reach for the liquor. The least you can do is treat your mom with a glass of something strong every once in a while.
Watch Your Aim
The only thing that is more disgusting than a public bathroom is a public bathroom visited by men with poor aim. Sometimes men are the worst! This request is not for something impossible or unattainable, but for something they have had most of their lives to practice.
The people who run this place and probably clean the bathrooms are just asking for a little common courtesy in a nice and funny way. We hope that this eye-catching sign helps bathroom users make the effort. Unless it ends up being too distracting, which may make the problem even worse than before.
Loving the Irony
Remember libraries? They still exist, yes, but they're rarely visited anymore, which is unfortunate because honestly, libraries rock. Where else are you going to get some free Wi-Fi AND quiet people? This library decided to do something about it and remind us that, even in the age of the internet, it's still important to go to your local library.
Now, taking into account you're reading this article on the internet, we have to appreciate the irony here. It should be noted, though, that not everything written in books is true either. Why do you think they keep printing out new encyclopedia editions?
Wet Floor
We all know the importance of placing these signs around when necessary because we have indeed seen some dangerous slips in our day. But this? This is just hilarious. Just imagining someone placing that sign on the blue board and sending it off to float on the pool, makes us laugh. And it is true, that floor IS especially wet!
The only person we can think of who can take this sign in that context literally has been dead for quite a few centuries. Then again, we doubt he ever needed such a sign with those water-walking abilities of his.
No Trippin' Alligators, Please!
I mean, we can completely understand their logic. Who in their right mind would want a bunch of alligators walking around hallucinating?! What would that even look like? A bunch of gators looking at the sky and seeing floating steaks instead of clouds?
We’re guessing there have been some incidents in the past of tourists feeding hallucinogenic mushrooms to the gators. Why? Beats us. Though if we had to bet we would think it has something to do with frat boys who had some psychedelics themselves. The only thing we can think of scarier than an alligator is an alligator on psychedelics.
Ignore if You Are a Fly
It really is so kind of the Kew Botanical Gardens to let the flies know it's OK for them to stop on the plants (even though it will actually kill them). We know where their loyalties lay, and it's with the precious plants they were sworn to protect. Who knew these things could digest themselves to death if they are falsely triggered too many times?
Besides, we're sure this sign was absolutely necessary after what were probably countless visitors stopping to touch the carnivore plants. Lord knows the temptation of watching a Venus flytrap doing its thing is really hard to resist.
Please Don’t Litter
This clever sign in a park really makes you think. The sign sits alongside a hiking trail and really gets in your head and tries to figure you out. You came out to enjoy a beautiful nature trail, why are you messing it up with your garbage, you douche?
This sign offers a few embarrassing options to consider and it will most likely shame you into putting the trash where it belongs – in the bin. This is probably the only scenario where we encourage public shaming. Nobody wants to admit that they are a jerk, not even to themselves.
No Fighting
This was a very nice idea to raise some money for a worthy cause, but something got jumbled along the way. Although we all wish we could eradicate childhood diabetes, getting into fist fights with young sufferers is probably not the way to do it.
The point they wanted to make is clear, but they really should have had someone else look this over before they rushed out to print signs. The fix should be pretty easy, though — just scribble the word "for" before the Children. On a more positive note, a Christmas bazaar and craft show sounds lovely and a good place to get some holiday shopping done.
Husband Day Care
Anyone who is married (though singles probably get the joke too) will have a big laugh with this one. This should actually be a regular thing everywhere in the world. It’s not clear whether this is a bar, a gym, a spa, or what, but we love the concept.
The only thing we are not quite sure about is the drinking part. Maybe not such a good idea to leave your husband in a booze-ridden daycare. But hey, if it gives the ladies a day off, it’s definitely worth it. Don’t worry, guys, we’ll open a wife daycare center, too.
Stay Strong, Teachers!
We are going to take a wild guess and say that this message was put up on that sign on the first day of school. After a two-month-long summer vacation that gave teachers an opportunity to see what life is like with no daily migraines, it's time to get back to work.
Probably not so funny for a concerned parent passing by, but we totally understand. If there's anyone who deserves a hearty welcome, it's teachers at a liquor store. Hey, if they're not getting a fair salary, the least we can do is applaud the liquor stores that keep them distracted from the fact, no?
In Case of Emergency, Laugh!
This is just hilarious. Even though we know that's meant to be a picture of a stick man drowning, it looks like the sign says LOL, as in, "If you see someone drowning, Laugh Out Loud!". This was obviously unintended.
No one in their right mind would decorate any body of water with a sign that essentially says "Go ahead and make fun of that poor, poor swimmer, you psycho. Saving lives is overrated anyway." But hey, in case it wasn't clear (because there is always going to be one person who wasn't blessed with baseline intelligence), at least they included the tiny print at the bottom: "Call 911".
Unforeseen Circumstances
Well, apparently the circumstances were so unforeseen that they messed with this psychic's ability to predict the future. Not that we think there was any foul play or some kind of charlatanism here. God no. Maybe the ESP in question is affected by things like electrical currents and it got all messed up during that last lightning storm.
This darn weather answers to no one. Let's not jump to conclusions and say we would definitely consider attending the next fair. Even if it's just to ask the psychic what happened. And if they were trying to be funny, they succeeded flawlessly.
Don’t Walk This Way
While taking a nice stroll through the woods the first question that comes to mind is “how many hands are going to try and grab me as I try to run away?” This sign takes creepy to a whole new level.
Is it a warning that some people are hiding in the bushes, ready to grab onto whoever is walking by? That really does seem to be the message. Another ominous thing about this sign is the placement of the nail keeping it to a tree. The little painted man has enough to worry about without the added pressure of a nail to the head.
Starbucks Ain’t Got Nothing on Them
We are definitely intrigued. Good for TireDiscounters for trolling the Pumpkin Spice Latte phenomenon and reminding us all that there is more to life than a warm and delicious PSL. We wonder how different those new tires really are.
Do they come in various fall colors? Do they smell like nutmeg and cinnamon? Do they come with a bunch of vegan New Yorkers? The new trend this fall is PSR and frankly, it’s time for a change. If nothing else, this grabbed your attention and made you smile. It’s nice to know that tire store employees have such a good sense of humor.
Bottoms Up
This type of poster is a staple in every college dorm and is a pretty accurate description of a typical Friday night when you are a student. But putting this up in the street is genius. This is the perfect way to remind drivers that gangs of roving drunk kids are walking to the bar, and probably not looking both ways before crossing the road.
The only addition we would make to the picture is to throw in a cell phone. What’s a drunken night out without embarrassing selfies and drunk texting? How else are people going to piece together their previous night's adventures?
Stay Safe!
This love-handle-positive sign is telling us that there is nothing wrong with a carb-rich lifestyle and we are absolutely here for it. In fact, if you think about it, it comes in handy if you’re ever in a situation of danger. Because hey, fat people ARE harder to kidnap!
Just think about it — would anyone try kidnapping Shrek? Or Santa Clause? And, as far as the big bosses at Fleming Arms are concerned, they’re doing a hell of a job at making us want to stop at their place for a bite. That's a win-win situation in our book. Well done, guys.
It's Hot Where They're Going
Bravo guys. A very clear message to whoever stole their (obviously very precious) AC units. Apparently, Pastor Jeffery has quite a sense of humor. And despite it all, they’re still allowing the AC thief to keep one! How considerate, they even think of his comfort when he arrives in hell. Now that’s being a good pastor.
Though, now that we think about it, how is that AC unit supposed to help the thief in their afterlife of purgatory? It's not like they can take to their grave with them, right? Unless we've been lied to , and just like the Pharaos of yore, we CAN be buried with our belonging.
Ladies and Gents
Maybe this will answer the ultimate question: why do women go to the bathroom in pairs? It is pretty clear here which bathroom is for which sex. Men use the bathroom for its intended purpose, while women often use it to dish on their date or put on makeup.
Whatever long line is snaking in front of the ladies' room doors, it's not because of the gals chatting by the mirror. After all, it's not like women can just have a couple of seconds to unzip their fly, make a deposit, and be done with it — the operation is more complex than that.
Superhero Savings
It seems that saving lives is only one of the perks of being a superhero. Batman can also get an awesome discount on some SnoBalls. All he has to do to enjoy this tasty dessert is show up in costume. The kids would love it, but the media would be all over him.
Batman would probably just zip out of there with one of his cool gadgets, but we’re not sure a dollar off would be worth the hassle. It is unclear why Batman is the only superhero recognized by Skippy but we’re pretty sure Superman is working on his lawsuit right now.
You Mean This Little Barking Toy?
What dog? Oh, you mean that adorable little pooch over there? The one that could fit in the drawer of our bedside table? Sure. We’ll watch out. Although this dog looks harmless, we’re sure this sign is there for a reason. Admittedly, it does look tiny, but maybe it has a big bark and maybe an even bigger bite.
Certainly looks like it. It could be the meanest small dog in the history of canines for all we know. Just to be safe, it’s better to ring the bell. And if you manage to get by the dog, beware of its owner. Seems like they are even scarier if they own such a fearsome beast.
No Camping on the Highway
People who drive slowly in the left lane are both annoying and dangerous and the people in this mountain town are obviously not going to put up with it anymore. It's like that one person with a cart full of groceries who tries to sneak into the fast-track line in the supermarket. Infuriating.
Let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than driving behind someone going less than the speed limit in the fast lane. This sign has got it right and isn’t afraid to speak out. Be careful slow pokes, next time they might send you to camp in the lake.
The Love Tomatoes
Such a lovely sign to see over your vegetables. Yes, it is cheesy, but cute, nonetheless. And, if you're shopping with your kids and are trying to get them to eat more vegetables, what better way than asking them to go pick some tomatoes and get some love?
This sign also makes a box of tomatoes look like a legit Valentine's Day gift, and we are definitely not hating that! Sure, roses are pretty to look at, but what business do they have in your salad? Kudos to the supermarket staff for making mundane grocery shopping just a little bit brighter.
Being Honest
This one is a double-edged sword because even though the witty sign may make a lot of people come in for a haircut, there might be people who are put off by reading the word "ugly" on a beauty salon's sign.
The stakes seem pretty low, though, because honestly, no matter how unattractive, any functioning human would look a million times better after getting their hair and nails done, a good facial, and a nice, relaxing massage. Regardless, we find it hilarious. Hey, at least they're being brutally honest — if they can't make you look good, you're the one with the problem. We dare you to walk in and find out.
The Naughty Cat
Cats, in general, are not known to be very respectful when it comes to food. But hey, who would expect anything different? They are natural-born predators, at the end of the day, so if you leave food lying around, don't expect them to not have a nibble.
And if you leave you leave a glass lying around, don't expect them to not knock it over. They will absolutely do it and they will absolutely enjoy watching you get mad. So, it’s only fair this nice coffee shop would want to warn its customers about the naughty neighborhood cat. Thanks, guys.
Of Course It's Haunted
If you’ve ever moved into an old house or apartment, you’ve probably wondered about the place’s previous tenants. You know, things like what they did for work, or if they had any unfinished business left in this mortal coil, and if their soul is still inhabiting the place, making things go bump in the night.
Real estate agent Chase Hicks got sick of people asking whether the houses he has been showing are haunted, so he added a disclaimer to each and every one of the “for sale” signs. You know, except for the homes that were, in fact, haunted.
Life Lessons
This is probably the worst Father’s Day gift you could deliver to your dad. You’re basically telling him that in all those years of working together in the garage, you didn’t hear a single thing he said. But hey, at least it can be used as kindling to warm the house on a really cold day.
This can probably be applied to life too, beyond crafts and wood cutting, but we probably missed that lesson as well. On the other hand, maybe this isn’t about double checking at all, but about a mysterious thing called “twic” that helps you make more accurate measurements.
Mood Swings
That mood swing really is not for the faint of heart. Some of these are far from being playground staples. We think everyone would love to have a portable sign like this at one point or another in their lives.
Or even a little stack of a few business cards with that sentence they could conveniently whip out of their pockets on bad days. Such a polite way of saying, “back-off”. Hey, at least the person was polite enough to warn us. And if we ever run into a sign like this in real life, we will be sure to run.
Pie and Lattes
We don't know if this is a coffee shop's (brilliant) way of advertising their one-of-a-kind pies and lattes, or a Pilates studio trying to be funny, but this sign is fantastic. Actually, the best thing would be to discover that the place has both: you work out, burn some calories, and then gain them all back at the cafeteria. Perfect.
Being a more 'pie and latte' kind of people ourselves, we definitely appreciate the light comedy. Plus, there's no better way to get customers — whether they be coffee drinkers or Pilates enthusiasts — than through comedy. We're definitely using this next time a friend asks us to join them for Pilates. Exercise? Yuk!
Hokey Pokey
This is the definite winner from our list. A hundred points for creativity and original puns. Not only does this sign make you laugh and smile instantly, but it also gives a lighter note to a serious and difficult subject, giving hope to everyone everywhere!
If someone with a hokey pokey addiction was able to turn themselves around, you can do anything! Yes, just like carbs, biting your nails, and that Justin Bieber song that has wormed into your brain, the hokey pokey is not an easy thing to let go of, but it is not impossible. Just try it.
You're Done, Simon
Nothing like arriving from a long flight to find your girl holding up this sign. We're not sure what the problem with a selfie stick is, though. Sure, nowadays you can only find it owned by people of a certain age and dads with too much sunscreen, but how bad is it really to have one? Unless he was using it to take some compromising photos... In which case, not cool, man.
What's worse is that this doesn't seem to be the first time something like this happens, since they've already "talked about this". But really Simon, your selfie stick?! It's like this guy wanted to get caught! Good for you, Britney, he deserves the public shaming!
Keeping It Real
Come election time, most people become very vocal about who they are planning on voting for. Walking around your neighborhood, you’ll probably see lawn signs endorsing your neighbor’s preferred candidate. And you’ll probably be sick of it.
This homeowner sure as heck is sick of it. And we completely get it. Leave politics off your lawns, people! Not only did no one ask, but now you also have this eyesore in your front yard. This lawn sign makes it clear that this guy was not very enthusiastic about 2016’s candidates. We’ll hand it to them, at least they were honest!
Thank You for Your Support
It’s always a good idea to support Mom and Pop shops although these days they are very hard to come by. These businesses usually offer some really great things you can’t get at your local McDonald’s – fresh ingredients, the feeling of family, and loyal customers who appreciate something simple and good.
The business that put up this sign clearly appreciates its customers and went out of its way to show it. We can’t imagine anyone reading this and not feeling good about giving them their business. Plus, we all have a little rebel inside who wants to see major CEOs having to slum it down for a change.
Who’s a Good Penguin?
Here’s a sign that makes us smile. Each month, a good penguin and a naughty penguin get singled out for mention at this New Zealand zoo. This is a cute way to let visitors get to know the penguins at the zoo in a funny way.
Oh, and don’t worry about Timmy, we heard he’s turning over a new leaf, next month he’s going to get the good title for sure. Maybe he will finally learn a thing or two from Betty. Whoever thought this up has a good sense of humor and obviously cares a whole lot for the penguins at the exhibit.
No Judgement
Not only are these guys considerate of animals, but they also don’t judge when it comes to people, which is such of a breath of fresh air these days. You know, so many of us are judged on a daily basis for reasons as loaded as the color of our skin or as random as our mascara preferences.
It's a relief to see that this place is a safe haven for people with a-typical water standards. They have been oppressed for way too long. And hey, it’s water, it’s there, and if you can easily take a sip and you’re thirsty, who are they to say you can’t?
Wi-Fi Philosophy
We all know that Wi-Fi has highs and lows. It’s either fast or slow, or a mix of the two, depending on a lot of technical factors. It’s good that lots of places offer free Wi-Fi (shout out to coffee shops and public libraries!), otherwise, we would all run out of data on our phone plans.
Can you even remember a time before Wi-Fi? What did we do, talk to each other instead of texting? This sign looks at Wi-Fi philosophically. Maybe reading it will make you stop and smell the roses instead of checking Kendall Jenner's Instagram story, again.
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
Dolly Parton's song "9 to 5" comes to mind when looking at this sign. Except you need to multiply the exhaustion by five for each day of the week. God, we need a nap. Like, a three days long nap.
Surely, this sign already brightened many people's day, reminding them, amongst their dreaded work week, that they're not alone, and we all feel the same way about Mondays. And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, for that matter. Indeed, those first five days after Sunday are definitely the hardest. And usually how long it takes to recover for the next weekend.
The Best Nation In The Nation!
This sign inspires patriotism and is exactly why America is "the best country in the nation", because not only is America a country, and not an entire continent, but it is also the best country within one country! Bravo guys! We sincerely advise brushing up on your geography next time you're going to make such grand statements.
You know what? Even some simple googling can help you out. Before you write your next sign, or maybe even your next text message, ask your old pal Google if it makes any sense. We know human help could be better, but then you're running the risk of whatever human you ask laughing in your face.
In Case You Were Planning To
Apparently, the people that put up this sign don't have much faith in humanity. We understand why there would be several safety signs around a swimming pool, but 'Do Not Breathe Under The Water'? Seriously? We'd certainly hope that whoever decides to go swimming would have enough basic common sense to not try and breathe underwater.
But hey, then again, you never know. Especially in America, where people sue each other as a sport. Maybe that's what happened here — some idiot decided their lack of common sense is someone else's fault and took the Little Mermaid a little too seriously.
Toilet Thieves
We know a good pun we see one, and we are definitely seeing one here. First of all, who was the brave soul that dared steal nothing less than a toilet from the police?! We shudder to think about how they will rid themselves of all those doughnuts and coffee!
Then there is the question of how exactly did they pull it off? Toilet bowls are heavy! Not to mention, firmly attached to a wall and some intense plumbing. Not only are these boys clueless, but they LITERALLY have nothing to go on! Sorry guys, it looks like you'll have to resort to the woods for a while.
Sneakily Selfish
The people of Friedman's Fresh Market are your friends. They only have their clients' best interests at heart. And those interests include having their planned amount of potato chips all to themselves thank you very much. Stop staring at the dip and keep those hands off their chips.
How many times have you found your favorite brand of chips after looking tirelessly in the market, just to get home and have them chowed down by your partner or kids? Well, thanks to the great guys at this supermarket, you may have just found a way to never have to go through that again!
Poor Nemo
Talk about dry humor, yikes! We wouldn't really recommend this place if you're looking for a nice "Fish & Chips" place to take your Nemo-loving kids. And if you do, at least cover their eyes on the way in.
Nobody wants to know what their food's name used to be before it landed on their plate. Be it a fish named Nemo or a stalk of celery named Philip, once we know the name, we're not gonna eat it. We have to give them points for creativity, though. If you're over the age of 12, you're sure to have a big laugh with this one.
Not Good at Taking Criticism
How often does management actually open the complaint box? And once they do, how likely is it for them to actually take care of the complaints instead of taking all those notes and making a little bonfire? Clearly, these people don’t do very well with complaints.
And to be honest, even if you had one, as soon as you’d see this, you’d laugh and forget what you were planning on complaining about in the first place. We can imagine something like this being in some military headquarter offices. But regardless, we think it’s safe to say that, if you actually have something to say, keep it to yourself.
Supermarket Humor
Even if you weren't in the market for some goat butter, this sign (though at this size it's more of a label than a sign but we're not going to be petty now) would definitely make you at least consider taking one home. And hey, whoever said goats butter can't solve your ghost problem?
Maybe ghosts are allergic to goat's milk and the science of it has been kept secret for way too long. Or maybe ghosts actually like it and you need to use a little scoop of that butter as bait for your ghost traps. For £1.90, we would take a ghost-fighting butter home, wouldn't you?!
The Beauty of (Public) Revenge
Hats off to this girl! Learning that you were not very significant to your significant other can really bring someone down, but this girl has her priorities straight. We can't imagine the level of satisfaction she was feeling at that moment, which is pretty clear from her face of absolute excitement.
It seems like a fair trade — the guy cheats and the girl gets the premium tickets to the game (and dumped, obviously). We only wish someone could have caught the ex-boyfriend's face when looking at this sign on TV. Hey, that's what you get for being a liar.
Calm Under Pressure
Isn't it insane that people can go on hikes in places where there are loose apex predators? Sure, taking a walk in nature can be nice and relaxing, but it becomes a tad less so when you know there's an actual chance for you to meet a puma. Hopefully, if a wild animal attacks it will be more like Seth Green in “Without a Paddle” than Leonardo De Caprio in “The Revenant.”
But real life isn’t like the movies and this sign has important information that even a real wildlife expert should take to heart. Although truthfully, reading a sign and thinking that you know what to do is completely different than standing in front of a lion and trying to actually do it.
Sad But True
Sadly, the world does seem like a post-apocalyptic tale sometimes, and these guys decided to get a laugh out of it, at least. When the news you see on TV makes you want to blast yourself into the nearest black hole, it might be worth skipping that seven o'clock broadcast altogether and go read a book instead.
Except you probably won't find the right kind of book to escape into at this bookstore. At least not in the post-apocalyptic fiction section. Though, to be honest, post-apocalyptic fiction doesn't sound like something one might want to escape into. We're always up for some dark humor, and this sign does exactly that.
Keep It Elegant
Much has been made of Japan's culture, which is why you'll only find such a polite yet peculiar sign in Japan. Elsewhere, you would be most likely greeted with a sign that read "Please aim in the toilet and clean up after yourself". But no, these guys are kindly asking you "urinate with precision and elegance."
It seems like a fair request, it is in Japan after all, where the highest goal is not distinction, but synthesis and harmony. There’s a Japanese proverb that goes: “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” Japan’s collectivist society values group harmony and unity more than the desires of the individual, like um, some other cultures we know.
Aren't You Happy to Be Home, Mom?
Thank god these kids are as cute as they are because coming home to do laundry is probably not what this mom had in mind. However, it was extremely adorable of them to make a welcome home sign by themselves (judging by the garbage truck and tractor drawing on the sign).
In fact, it was so important for them to greet their mom that they even went commando! And hey, they just wanted to let mommy know about the current state of affairs at home — which is that daddy apparently couldn't figure out how to work a washing machine.
Save Me a Seat
Remember when you were a kid and you asked your best friend to save you a seat so that you wouldn’t end up sitting alone? This is the same thing only for the elderly. We never grow out of wanting to sit next to our own kind, apparently.
This restaurant obviously knows its clientele and has marked their territory with this hilarious sign. The good people around this table with their cups of coffee seem like they have been sitting there since the beginning of time. We just hope this doesn’t bother other customers and make them start thinking about passing any gas while they’re eating.
Blowing Off Some Steam
This clothing store should call someone to check on their lighting situation because we’re not sure what kind of people it’s going to attract as a “Swearhouse.” Sounds like a perfect place to blow off some steam. Also, the suits in the window class up the joint, so you know you’re going to be mixing with some high-class clientele while doing your swearing.
Hey mister, just because bad words are allowed doesn’t mean this is a shabby place. You know what? We think they should leave the lights as is. There seem to be a lot of interesting business opportunities in the Swearhouse.
Trivial Pursuit
Endless stretches of road and long hours in the car can make anyone sleepy. Especially if you are in the middle of a long road trip along the never-ending roads of Australia. These signs liven things up with some exciting trivia questions and you can impress your friends and family with your general knowledge.
Driving will be more fun, and that road trip will go by in a jiffy. Not to mention it will keep you on your toes with the thrill of an impromptu game. We’re not sure why these signs aren’t more popular. This must be the most boring stretch of road in all of Queensland.
Dieting Without Feeling Hungry
If you’re on a diet and hungry but don’t know what to do, just read this sign. It seems like the best thing to keep your appetite in check is a big juicy burger. You can’t really argue with that, if you’re hungry and you eat you won’t be hungry anymore. The logic is so simple it's crazy that no one has thought of it before.
Everyone should try just eating when they’re hungry. Although if you’re counting calories, a burger might not be the best choice. Unless you’re looking for an excuse to scarf one down. Look, the sign made me do it.
Sean Connery Discount
Because who doesn’t enjoy listening to the voice of the late, great Sean Connery? Hearing an order in that Scottish accent is enough to make anyone’s day, and these guys are so aware of this that they’re even offering a discount to whoever helps! Undoubtedly, he would ask for his coffee shaken, not stirred.
This request is a clever play on the iconic phrase from the James Bond movies, made famous by none other than Sean Connery himself. It's hard not to smile when you read it, and the idea of ordering your coffee in his voice is just too good to resist.
Lion King Pizza
This sign is a perfect example of humor at its best. It's witty, clever, and makes us laugh out loud. The reference to Rafiki from "The Lion King" is spot-on, and we can almost hear him shouting out those words in his iconic voice. It is clear that the folks who put up this sign have a great sense of humor and know how to make their customers smile.
And let's be honest, who wouldn't want to stop in and grab a pizza just to congratulate them on their fantastic sign? We definitely would, and we bet we're not alone.
Heartbreak Emoji
This sign is so sad, we wish we could do something to cheer it up. It really is a rough blow to have an office building or something built right in front of you. It makes us wonder what it was looking at before. Maybe a beautiful beach, a lush forest, or snow-capped mountains. Either way, we feel for the sign — it’s clearly upset about the loss of a treasured pastime.
Three sad emojis in a row, now that’s some real pain. If only we could do something to cheer it up! Alas, we can only offer our sympathies and hope that the sign will eventually find a way to move past its sadness and find joy in new sights and experiences.
Teaching Us to Love Ourselves
We just love this sign. This lovely sign reminds us that having a little extra is nothing to feel bad about in a world that seems so obsessed with having the perfect body. In fact, on the contrary, it makes us magic! Next time you’re feeling a little bigger, remember you’re just on your way to becoming a magical mermaid!
In a way, this sign celebrates the idea of being unique and embracing our differences. It encourages us to look beyond the surface and recognize the charm that lies within us all. After all, who wouldn't want to be a magical mermaid with all the beauty and wonder that comes with that image?
They Totally Wouldn't
Anyone who's ever had a cat will get a big laugh out of this one. Because, in all fairness, if cats could actually show any signs of consideration or respect towards humans, they wouldn't, and that's why we love them. Cats just do what they feel like, when they feel like it, and how they feel like it. Get used to it.
So to all the cat lovers out there, we say embrace the quirkiness and unpredictability of your feline friends. And for those who don't quite understand the appeal of cats, well, we'll just leave you with this sign as a friendly reminder that cats will always do as they please.
Cutest Sign Ever
This dad probably had a laugh and got a big smile on his face after seeing this sign. And hey, maybe mommy is a lot of work, but she was cool enough to make this sign and have the idea to hang it on the baby's stroller. Or, even better, maybe baby Kaden has a very bright future in the arts!
Who knows, maybe he's already showing signs of being a creative genius. Either way, we love the playful spirit of this sign and the lightheartedness it brings to the world. It's a reminder to not take ourselves too seriously and to find joy in the small things.
Truth Above All
Wouldn’t a sign like this make you even a little bit less angry if you were forced to wait a long time for a service? At least they’re being honest. And you can count on them being super-fast and effective once your turn actually comes to get service. You know you’re getting fast service no matter how long you wait. What more could anyone ask for?
You can take comfort in knowing that you're not the only one waiting. Everyone else in the queue is in the same boat, so at least you have some company. All in all, we have to say that this sign is a clever way to turn a potentially negative situation into something a little bit more positive. After all, isn't it better to know what you're getting into upfront?
Funny and True
This sign is pretty straightforward, at least for most people. This is one of the most annoying things about driving on the highway. Is it really so difficult to use your blinker? It’s right by the steering wheel. How did these people ever pass driver’s ed? These days, with so many motorcycles on the road, it’s especially important to signal before you change lanes.
The people who put up this message are laying down the law but in a funny way. Maybe, just maybe, this will encourage some drivers to start using their blinkers more often. Let's keep our fingers crossed!
Very Good Advice
In all fairness, removing the child from the clothing is probably best before throwing it in the washing machine. Especially since we're talking about a "size 3 to 4 years"! Not that throwing anyone, at any age, in a washing machine would be any better. The most worrying thing about this label is that this doesn't seem to be a grammar mistake or a question of a missing letter or punctuation.
Did they actually mean to write the word "child" there?! Let's give the benefit of the doubt here and assume that the label was intended to be a humorous nod to the fact that children have a tendency to get messy. We can all relate to the struggle of trying to keep our little ones clean and presentable, right?
Is That Really Necessary?
We applaud this store's willingness to help its customers above and beyond, but really, guys? We don't really think adult people need a demonstration on how to use a toilet. And also, if someone were to actually ask for a demonstration, how would it actually go down? Personally, we would be very tempted to ask, just to see what happens.
But hey, maybe we're wrong. Maybe there are some people out there who genuinely don't know how to use the facilities. And if that's the case, we're glad this store will help. But for the rest of us, we'll stick to doing our business in private; thank you very much.
Just Wash Your Hands
This establishment clearly doesn’t care who uses which bathroom stall. The only thing they care about is that you wash your hands after doing your business. One of the grossest things ever is when someone walks out of the stall and just heads out the door. We don’t even want to think about restaurant employees who handle our food doing that.
The idea behind this sign is that you should feel comfortable using the bathroom no matter who or what you are. Now that is a sentiment we can get behind. Let's strive for a world where using the bathroom is not a source of stress or anxiety for anyone but a mandatory part of the day.
So Where Are We Going to Meat?
If you are born to a vegetarian or vegan family and avoid eating meat from day one, then you don't really know what you are missing. But what happens when you become one, because you want to make your partner happy or because of a change in ideology? That craving for a nice piece of meat never leaves.
No worries, we have this sign for you that will continuously remind you that you have clearly done a huge mistake. All you have to do is update us as to which steakhouse you want to go to and break your fast.
The Only Way Is Up
The sheer brilliance of a well-executed play on words never fails to captivate us, and this particular sign is a shining example. We can't help but wonder if the creator of this sign anticipated the precise location where it would be displayed as its cleverness reaches new heights.
When it comes to the fear of elevators, we ponder whether it stems from the enclosed and confined space or the prospect of ascending to great heights. If it's the latter, then Indiana Hills would hardly offer solace or reassurance, given its elevated nature. Such juxtaposition of words and concepts adds an extra layer of amusement and intrigue to this delightful sign, leaving us thoroughly entertained.
Jesus Has Spoken
The dedication and creativity of this sports fan truly deserve applause. Not only did he come up with a clever sign, but he took it to the next level by dressing up as Jesus. His commitment to originality is commendable, earning him a solid 10 points. His unwavering loyalty and unwavering support for his team are clearly evident.
With a message delivered by none other than the Son of God himself, he undoubtedly stands as the epitome of a dedicated fan. If such divine inspiration isn't enough to ignite a fire within the team, it's difficult to fathom what else could. A message from God should surely be enough.
Go for the Juggler
While the notion of being besieged by a horde of clowns may seem like a surreal nightmare, this sign cleverly points out that the juggler among them is the weakest link. Surprisingly, the juggler is not considered an essential member of the clown posse. The wordplay employed here is undeniably sharp, but the mental images it conjures are enough to give anyone chills.
We appreciate the sign's ability to simultaneously amuse and horrify us, ensuring we won't be sleeping soundly tonight. Furthermore, the cryptic message on the door serves as a tantalizing clue, piquing our curiosity about another sign on our list. Can you decipher the riddle and guess which one?
Highway Word Play
The prevalence of texting and driving has reached epidemic proportions, as individuals seem incapable of resisting the allure of their phones while operating a vehicle. This particular sign employs a clever, albeit slightly cheesy, pun to convey its message effectively. Its simple yet impactful plea is clear: put down your phone when you're behind the wheel.
That seemingly crucial text detailing your lunch can undoubtedly wait until you arrive at your destination. The brilliance of this sign lies in its ability to utilize humor rather than resorting to threats. It imparts valuable advice, and its lighthearted approach resonates with people, encouraging them to heed its wisdom. Let's embrace this sign's message and prioritize safety on the roads.
And What About the 15th Floor?
We appreciate the notice regarding the relocation of the 9th floor, which has now been transformed into the 15th floor. However, this revelation raises a compelling query: where exactly can we find the newly designated 15th floor? The intriguing aspect lies in the inclusion of the word "temporarily," suggesting that the 9th floor has intentions of returning to its former position.
This leaves us curious about the circumstances surrounding this change and the possibility of the 15th floor reverting to its previous identity. Perhaps this temporary alteration holds a deeper significance or an imminent shift in the building's structure, prompting us to ponder the future of these floors and their ultimate destiny.
A Humerus Sign
This list features quite a few signs that property owners have put on their land to ward off any unwanted visitors. This, however, is the only sign that uses the visitors' remains to get the message across. We don’t have a bone to pick with this sign; it’s great. This person clearly loves his privacy and that’s exactly what he will get after people see this sign.
Yes, we probably think the bones are from the animals that died on his land and he just piled them up there as a joke. However, we are not willing to take that chance to find out if those bones are real or are actually from past trespassers.
Add Some Sprinkles on Top
We don’t want to add insult to injury, but if you lean on that barrier you will be adding insult to your own injury and you will have no one to blame but yourself and your poor reading skills. We can imagine the embarrassment one would feel when leaning against that and then falling.
But, triggering the sprinkler system and getting wet after falling would be the icing on the cake. Good luck getting up off the floor when you're both bruised and wet. Good thing that sign is there because we couldn’t imagine going normally about your day after such an incident.
This Sign Cost an Arm, Not a Leg
Workplaces can be dangerous. Sure, your computer probably won't kill you, but anyone who works with power tools or heavy machinery needs to be a little more careful than the average office worker. That is why there are so many signs warning employees of potential hazards in factories and such.
This sign takes the cake and if we saw it, we would be extra cautious around that machine. We want to go home with all of our body parts and just looking at this sign shows us they will be severed into six different pieces. Good luck playing catch with your child if you fail to follow this sign.
I’m a Peacock You’ve Got to Let Me Fly
Don't judge a book by its feathers. Just because something has a beautiful, colorful plumage, doesn't mean it wants to be your friend. While peacocks are adorable and one of the prettiest birds in the animal kingdom, that doesn’t mean that they won't defend their territory.
When feeling threatened, they will absolutely unleash all hell on you and everything you stand for. Their pecks will hurt and they can draw blood. We wonder how many people got attacked before this zoo had to put up sign warning guests to avoid approaching the precocious peacock. Our guess is above one, but below a lot.
Stolen Valor
If you have ever traveled to South East Asia, you are bound to run into a few monks. Usually with a shaved head and wearing traditional robes in bright orange, they may be asking for donations or trying to help you, but beware, not all is as it seems.
This sign was posted to warn people about the FAKE Monks in the area. We don’t condone anyone who steals an identity to make a profit off of others. You’ve been warned! So, if you see this sign and a monk in the area, remember they may not be who they say they are.
Cleaning Up Your Mess
The war between graffiti artists and city councils is a long, drawn-out affair full of layers of paint. Any city dwellers can tell you that. City councils hate cleaning up graffiti, but we hope they laughed when they saw this one; we know we did.
We can only imagine what the tagger was thinking when they walked past this and the “I have an idea!” lightbulb flashed over their head. We don’t condone defacing public property, but if you do, try to make the city council laugh. This is one of the very rare occasions where adding to the mess makes it better!
Collecting for Cellists?
We love a good threat sign as much as the next person; “Beware of Dog” signs are one of our favorites, however, we don’t think this sign can follow through on its threats. One major loophole is they never specify which players they're referring to, or even if they have to play a sport of any kind.
They could be playing Romeo in a community theater production of "Romeo and Juliet". They could be playing an instrument too! So as long as you play something and consider yourself a player you can collect all the golf balls you want. Happy collecting to all you cellists out there.
Grandma’s Unleashed
It’s no surprise why this family decided to put up a "Beware of Grandma" sign outside their front door; she bit the mailman when they delivered the post the other day. We also saw her barking from the porch when we walked by, and she did her business in the front yard next to the hydrant.
If you walk by this house beware because that grandma both barks and bites. Also, on an unrelated note, we'd like to know who Axel was and what he did to have his skull respectfully mounted by the gate. Maybe Grandma used to have a guard bull before learning to defend her property?
Three Lefts Make a Right
Sometimes life doesn’t feel like it’s going your way, but this sign is giving us some words of wisdom. Maybe the best course of action would be to stop fighting to get your way and roll with the tides to see where it takes us.
We never saw a sign that made us think about life that way, and maybe looking at something different is all we need to get out of our rut. Remember if the first left doesn’t work, consider trying another and then another. Then maybe those three lefts will make the right you need in your life.
The Lost Boys
We found it. The place where all lost things go. If you ever lose anything at this Tustin Dino Dash Race (which is where this picture was taken, apparently), just head over to this sign and explore away.
We know that sometimes we enjoy looking through the lost and found to see if there is anything interesting and you can do that here too. Lost glasses? Find them there. Need a new blanket? Have at it. Lost your child? Pick the one that looks closest to yours and head out. It will be like yours, but with a new twist.
Fallen Sign
It’s never a good sign when the sign doesn’t take its own advice. It should be more careful when it crosses a platform with holes in it. Now, if a person comes by there will be no way to warn them of the impending danger.
We hope they see the fate of the "Caution Wet Floor" sign and are careful if they go down the same path. In the sign's defense, wooden boards don't really get slippery when wet. What that sign needed is another sign to warn it about that part of the floor that has dangerous holes in it.
This Sign Is Pop-ular
"Frozen" was one of our favorite movies; "Frozen 2"... not so much. So, whenever we see a "Frozen" joke we will stop and laugh. It doesn't have to be a very good joke. Like, how Elsa probably will never get married because she always has cold feet. See? Bad joke but it still works and it still made our day slightly better.
This one is pretty great, and we are glad we are not driving. Drivers laughing hysterically on the road might cause an accident. Luckily, we just saw it from this picture and can laugh without putting anyone in danger.
I Yam Laughing
They say that the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach, but what is the way to the stomach? Well, that, dear friends, is through the brain. And the way to the brain? Humor them. Just like here. "Romain" calm, everybody, this one had us laughing too.
We couldn’t walk by this pun and not stop in for a bite to eat. The meal would surely make our heads turnip and our taste buds dance. It might even make our hearts "beet." If we are lucky we could eat our meal in peas and quiet. Although, a bit of company would be "rad-ish" too. "Lettuce" pray we have a great time at the happy hour.
Long Distance Calling
Everyone is trying to make people laugh these days and that includes churches, which is pretty smart, to be honest. The best way to make someone more open and receptive is to make them laugh. A couple of chuckles and all of a sudden people feel a little more inclined to wake up on time for Sunday service.
This Mountainview Alliance Church got funny with their prayers, but we hope the big guy's wireless plan costs less than the AT&T bill we got last month. Granted, theirs may only cost an hour of time for full reception throughout the week. But if it doesn’t, do you know if God has a Venmo?
Pick Your Poison
We are genuinely curious about why there is an either-or on this sign. Especially with the farting bit. How much of an impact would that passing gas have to call for a warning sign? Even if we were feeding them and they did fart, their butts are on the other side away from us, so we wouldn’t be affected.
Yes, it might smell in the vicinity of where we are standing, but it wouldn’t cause us bodily harm and it is hardly something we would need to be warned about. Biting, on the other hand, can cause harm and anyone would appreciate the head's up.
This Person Needs Their Six Pack
At rallies and protests, you will see a plethora of signs, and some make you double-glance more than others. Maybe they will have more glitter on them, or maybe they will have a huge Fabio cutout character — those things are are to look away from. In some cases, like here, the message on the sign is just too good to ignore.
This science sign was seen at the Raleigh, NC march for science funding. They are not wrong because a lot of chemistry does go into making beer. If we stop funding science, then we are stopping funding beer makers, and that is not a world we want to live in.
Our Brains Are Amazing
Honestly, we had to ask around what was wrong with the sign because we read it 10 times and couldn’t figure it out. Then fingers were pointed and we put our palms to our faces. To be fair, if anyone was driving in their car past the sign, there is every possible chance they didn't have the time for the double take required to see the typo.
Have fun if you also struggle to find what is funny about this. Our brains are amazing and will “fix” little mistakes when we read information. This makes us wonder what else our brains gloss over that is incorrect.
A Useful Sign
It’s hard to argue with that logic. They are technically correct that if your parents didn’t have kids then you won’t either because for you to exist then they would need to have kids. Actually, if they never had you they would never have been your parents, which would make the whole narrative collapse. Unless there is time travel involved.
We are glad our parents did have us because now we can laugh at this sign and think about other useless information that we can put on a sign. Like “no numbers from 1-10 have the letter "A" in them.”
Drop It Like Its Hotspot
Does this bar really expect us to put down our phones and talk to the people at our table?! We barely have enough social skills to talk to another person on the phone! What has this world come to? Next time they might ask us to call a restaurant for takeout instead of using Postemates!
That is why we primarily text. We don’t know what we would do if they really didn’t have any wifi. Luckily, our phones have a hotspot option so we can all share TikToks while we drink our beer because who needs to chat in person?
Just a Little Bump-er
Normally, cars display what they really think with bumper stickers, but this driver said screw that and went straight to spray paint. This is probably the closest thing to a tattoo that a car can get. We guess this car might be luck in a way, to be decorated in such a way.
He seems pretty set on his ideals to permanently mark his bumper, but we disagree. Although we may not know our neighbors, we find a community based on similar interests instead of just proximity. All people need to do is find their group, which includes this person too.
No Soup for You
Some days just don't work. The office is hectic, your hair is a mess, people are jerks, the car needs an oil change, and there are three loads of laundry waiting for you at home. On those days we just want whiskey for lunch. No need to bother with tomato or chicken noodle soup, just pour us a big bowl of Johnny Walker and we will be happy.
Add a side sandwich and we will be in heaven. Is it the most nutritious? No, we will lack some Vitamin A, but on cold days, both will warm our bodies and sooth our souls.
Fresh Fish
We can only imagine what the storage room of this fish shop looks like. Our guess is that it's essentially a deck overlooking the ocean with a wise old man and a fishing rod, just pulling up fishies on demand. Technically, they are not wrong, and it makes us want to visit this fish shop even more.
We love sushi, so if we could get the freshest sashimi in the world, sign us up. We already have the rice steaming and the fish will be the last part. If anyone wants to come they are welcome to. Just bring some booze, and we will have a sushi party late into the night.
Have You Met Bob?
What!? Not all bobcats are named Bob?! Then where did their name come from? Are they even cats? Is there any truth to tnaything anymore? Now, are you going to tell us not all jackrabbits are named Jack?! What else are we supposed to call them? Robert-cats don't have the same ring.
The Carroll County Veterinary Clinic obviously have some very sharp minds on their staff. If they handle their sign so well, we have no doubt they would treat our dog well. Now we just need to get a dog. Or a cat. Better yet — a bobcat named Bob. That'll show 'em.
This Sign Does Nothing
Please give us less information by writing more information. This sign doesn’t help anyone at all get to your place of business or understand when it's open. Yes, those colorful block letters do brighten up the place but do they have to come at the expense of actual information?
We can’t be sitting outside waiting for you to decide to work. We have our own lives too. Can you please just put your hours of business outside instead of this sign? We just want to order our food and then go home to binge “Altered Carbon” on Netflix. Is that too much to ask?
Bathroom Sign
We can’t argue with this logic. Every time we are in an argument with the wife, she ends up being right even if we have a better argument. No matter what we try, it always seems like she wins. So next time we need to pee it makes it easy to remember which way to turn.
This needs to be standardized because we don’t want to build this muscle memory only to accidentally walk into the wrong bathroom at the next place of business. Then again, the whole issue of who goes into what bathroom is getting a little dicey lately so we might prefer to just rid ourselves of the whole experience and water a tree or two.
They Nailed This One
Not all signs get us laughing, but this one did. Plus, it gave us a crash course in basic tool recognition. They nailed it right on the head! We thought they would hammer home their pun and they didn’t screw it up. It pulley-ed us in as soon as we saw it and we gave them credit!
We will file this one away next time we need a good hardware joke. It can fit in our toolbox of other puns next to our other ones. It should measure up next time. Yes, those are all the topic-appropriate puns we have so far. Now we need a nap.
Pee in the Ocean Like Everyone Else
Forget the cameras, this is about comfort as it is about common sense — why would you pee in the sand when there’s the big toilet right next to you? And don’t get mad at us and say, “Oh gross. I would never pee in the water!” You would be lying and we all know you pee in the water too. Plus, fish do it all the time.
Things can be a little different when we're talking about a pool, though. Don't pee in pools, people. As much as we would like to believe it, chlorine doesn’t actually disinfect that much.
Baby Trading Station
There was a 50% chance the baby would turn into a cat and a 50% chance it would stay a baby. So while the woman had the baby door closed the child existed in a superposition of half baby and half cat. Only when she opened the door again did the baby/cat function collapse into a cat.
Pretty cool that we learned about quantum mechanics while changing our cat baby. Now that the woman's offspring is a cat and not a human, we wonder what she would do with all the baby stuff at home. Does anybody need a stroller?
Cow Inclusivity
Aww, how nice! The sign makers could have stayed with plain silhouettes but instead, they went the extra mile to help the cows feel included. They didn’t need to add the stripe, but they did anyway. This is the kind of thing that makes the cows feel seen, respected, and validated. Good job, sign maker. Ten out of ten.
Now when we are traveling through that stretch of road we will keep our eyes peeled for those striped cows. We just hope a dairy cow doesn’t wander into the street nearby because if they did we would be woefully unprepared.
A Soon-to-Be Nudist Cat Cafe
When we first saw this sign, we were curious to know how many people actually took them up on their offer and stripped down to their birthday suits completely in order to come in without a mask. Though, to be honest, there is a chance they would choose to strip as an act of solidarity with the cats in this cat cafe, who walk around in their birthday suits all the time.
We know how good it feels to feel the breeze on our skin, but that’s in the privacy of your backyard, not at the local cat cafe. Good luck to management because they may be in for a rude awakening with this sign.
It’s a Bit Posh
We weren’t thinking of robbing this taxi cab driver for his money, but now that he has 7 Spice Girl cassettes we are reconsidering. We shouldn’t, but do you know how many eBay auctions we have lost trying to get the “Spiceworld” album?!
Too many! Wow, what we would give for that album… Maybe going to jail would be worth it. The cabbie shouldn’t have advertised his possessions if he wasn’t asking for trouble. Also, let's talk about those Sherk piñatas. If he's got two of them he wouldn't mind missing one, right? We have a feeling it will be a hoot at our cousin's quinceanera.
They Should Have Seen That Coming
You would think that a prophecy class could see that issue coming, but apparently not. Isn’t that the entire thing of prophecies? Maybe not knowing would be better. That sure would have helped Oedipus after he heard his prophecy.
We know they are not in an ancient Greek tragedy, but still, be nimble so you can flow with events even if you don’t see them coming. That's our sage advice. Maybe there is a lesson in this sign. Maybe the person giving the class saw some things that are better left unseen and just decided to call the whole thing off and spare everyone else the horrors.
Do You Know the Gingerbread Man?
It's unfortunate that he is sitting right beneath that sign. Yes, it made us giggle, but we are not proud of that. He had no choice in his hair color. He may not even be creepy for all we know. We would need to see the woman’s face to confirm.
If she is creeped out by him then we will take it all back and be glad we laughed at it earlier. If we had to guess, though, we would say that the guy here has always been teased about his hair color and decided to reclaim it, naming his personal brand of craft beer after it. More power to you, dude.
They Have Their Back
Even when we are down, it’s nice to know someone has your back, and for this signmaker, it’s their middle finger. It has their back and will stick up for them no matter what.
We hope our middle finger does the same for us because we need it when times get tough, and we all know that during these past couple of years it’s comforting knowing someone will always be there for you. We wonder if the rest of the fingers did the same when the time was right. You know, like when Signmaker knew the answer to a question in class, or when a pinky swear was due.
Historical Heritage Site
We were expecting a historical landmark when we saw the first half of the sign and then were utterly disappointed when we saw the second half. We guess that is what the creators were going for with the sign, but still, that is mean.
This seems like a very British joke to play, and although we are extremely unsatisfied we salute you for the joke played on us and on everyone who has seen this. And, to be fair, they weren't trying to sell us any product or service we don't need so we guess it could have been worse.
Man’s Best Friend
This veterinary clinic must have a comedian working for them because they frequently change their front sign and it always features a joke and that joke is always funny. Except for this one, which is only funny provided that it is not based on a true story.
Just because we thought dogs are man's best friend and we don't want it to only apply when food is not involved. We love our pets and we think better of them than preferring leftovers over the survival of their caregivers. Hopefully, we don’t ever have to find out how much truth this joke actually has.
Shady Cat
Honestly, we are wearier of the shady cat than we are of the dog. Just look at that feline, it looks like it is ready to claw your eyes out if you get too close. Either that or just talk smack about you behind your back, which is not very cool either.
We are glad there was a warning for the cat under the dog sign as well. Otherwise, we might have tried to pet it and come away with two fewer eyes (or just some trust issues). Plus it’s a black cat which is essentially a very small black panther.
A Warm Cup of Pinot in the Morning
We know that the person who came up with that sign must have thought they were on to something here. However, while getting some happy juice before you face another day in the office may sound like a good idea, we don’t know if brewing a morning cup of pinot is the best thing to do at 7 am.
If that were the case, we may only last until 11 am before we end up slumped under our desks taking a nap to stave off the afternoon hangover. We would be far less productive if this sign was true. Plus, hot wine doesn't sound all that great.
Whiskey Wednesday
North Country Wines & Spirits are obviously enjoying their own supply a little too much. In fact, we aren't sure how they were able to put up all those letters in order considering how hard their livers must be working. But frankly, we're on their side.
We love whiskey as much as the next person, and if we are going to drink every day it better be Glenmorangie. This sign is certainly for anyone who enjoys more than just the occasional drink! Give us some top-shelf liquor because if we are going to become unproductive members of society we might as well enjoy what we are drinking.
Couple Signs
These two signs beat the heck out of the "Live, Laugh, Love" thing we see all too often in Pinterest boards of new grandmothers who have just discovered the joys of knitting. No shade to those grandmas, though. They make the best cookies.
You can’t go wrong with either sign if you are looking to spice up your home. Both had us laughing and honestly, you should just get both. Your guests and visitors will love it and it will make them laugh too. Plus, if you get both of them you can't be accused of gender discrimination — this way everyone is equally mocked!
Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness
PSA: Please don't wash your feet in the toilet, people! For that matter please don't wash ANYTHING in the toilet. Do you realize the amounts of bacteria just swimming around in there? We totally understand wanting to keep our feet clean, but that’s not the way to do it. Especially if it’s a public toilet! Just stick to a shower and a sponge, please!
That being said, if anyone was to invent a toilet-like fixture for feet washing, we think it would be pretty awesome. Imagine a chair that comes with an attached foot basin that can have soapy water swirling around your feet with the push of a button. What a dream!
Halloween Jokes
This sign is great for Halloween and organ collectors (though usually, those who are in charge of harvesting or transporting organs don't offer to sell them. Let alone have a sale. But maybe it's different with rancid items. We obviously don't know enough about the ways of this world).
We can already imagine putting it next to the bowl of candy for the trick-or-treaters in October and putting mannequin parts covered in ketchup to sell the illusion. We are sure it will be a hit with everyone and hopefully get a few laughs. Excuse us as we head to our nearest Halloween store.
Literate Zombies
No one wants a zombie apocalypse, but we hope zombies know how to read if it ever happens. They will be rendered immobile once they read it and be confined to the graveyards. We are sure we can mass produce the signs if that is the case and keep the undead army at bay.
Fingers crossed it will work because we are not the best fighters when there are no gaming consoles involved. Of course, this is all assuming they turned into zombies in their graves. If they were bitten or infected by the zombie virus while out shopping at the mall, then there isn't much anyone can do about it and we're all doomed.
Eat Here
We love to support local businesses and this sign is just pointing you in the right direction. We wouldn’t want the owners to starve and after hiking in the woods all day this seems like the perfect place to grab a bite to eat. After all, there is nothing like a day of hiking to make your hunger strong and your standards weak.
Not that we're implying that this place has bad food, we're just saying that even microwaved beans will taste like a Michelin-star delicacy after a day-long walk through the forest. We hope the restaurant is open 24/7 because if it is then we might have to make it a regular thing for our weekly camping trip.
Turn Signals
What a novel concept! Using your turn signals! If we had a dollar for every time we saw a driver making a turn without using their signal, we could afford to hire a driver of our own! And that driver would literally be paid to use the turn signals like a responsible adult who didn't pay a DMV official to pass driver's ed.
Come on people, it is not that hard to pull the lever and tell people which way you are turning. They will be thankful and it will cause fewer honks out there. Unless you want to be a menace to society then continue not signaling.
No Point
In a world full of meaningful signs, this one boldly stands out, proudly declaring its pointlessness. As if our lives weren't already filled with enough absurdity, someone had the audacity to erect a sign warning us about its own futility. It's like a philosophical prank, a delightful reminder that even in the most serious situations, a touch of humor can lighten the mood.
Perhaps it serves as a sly commentary on the meaninglessness of warning signs themselves, or maybe it's just a mischievous act by a signmaker with a wicked sense of humor. Whatever the case, this sign deserves a round of applause for its blatant display of pointlessness. Bravo, sign, bravo.
Coffee Addict
Coffee helps the adult world function, and we don’t know if we would have made it to work without our cup of Jo in the morning. Or after lunch. The people at Myrtle Espresson took it a bit further than most of us and claimed they love coffee more than they like people.
They may have a point, though. Coffee never disappoints and will always be there for you. Plus they will never tell you they love you and then leave in the middle of the night. Good on you, coffee, for being loyal. Better than most people we know.
Lifesaving Life Jacket
Getting a reminder like this one is helpful, especially if it helps you from drowning. That is exactly what this sign is teaching you. Apparently, people sometimes forget that their body isn’t a buoy when they get in the water. Just because it works for dead bodies doesn't mean it will work on live ones, y'all.
In fact, that should be your number one clue about you NOT being buoyant. It would make swimming much easier because right now we sink like a rock. Alas, that’s not the case, and whenever we are on the boat we make sure to put on our life jackets for safety.
Enjoy Your Meal
Something tells us that putting a picnic area right next to a snake pit isn't the best idea. Maybe it's some stupid, useless survival instinct that helps us avoid having venom in our human body, but hey, we have been wrong in the past.
Maybe it’s actually great entertainment watching them slither past while you eat your ham and cheese sandwich. Heck, if you have a flute you might be able to charm them. We have seen it in the movies before so it must be real. On second thought, having both of them close may be a great idea.