Either this guy is a fitness freak and using exercise metaphors is the only way he knows how to communicate, or he’s just an idiot. Breaking up with someone is never easy, and we get that maybe he tried to make it humorous, but he achieved the complete opposite.
Sara is probably better off without him, but it’s never easy to have your relationship compared to doing push-ups on your knees.
Coffee Always Wins
As coffee fiends, we completely understand where this person is coming from. Coffee is all the things on that list and more, but if your partner can name more things they love about coffee than they love about you, it's pretty much over.
In all fairness, at least they took the time to draw a nice little coffee mug doodle.
Bad Andy
It looks like Andy has some serious communication issues. Apparently, he forgot to tell Jessica they'd broken up and he now has a new girlfriend. Or maybe he was just too lazy to do it and said, "hey, it's better if my new girl breaks the news'.
Honestly, we'd be far more concerned if we were the new girlfriend.
Touché!
In all fairness, they do have a point - 'babe' is now officially an ex. We love this person's quick wit and sense of humor, and we want to believe that they were joking playfully when they told 'babe' that they were totally replaceable.
Let's hope 'babe' understood it was all in good fun and there were no hard feelings. And nobody became an ex.
Bus Money
The first part of this note isn't so bad, if you chose to ignore the fact that this person thinks writing a last-minute sharpie letter on a dollar bill is 'putting a lot of thought into it'.
At least they were considerate enough to offer to share the car and leave a dollar for the bus. We think Mary should spend as much time mourning this relationship as this person spent writing that note.