We truly hope this person was joking, because otherwise, he’s the worst husband in history. Not only did he try to breakup with his wife through a text message, they were actually both in the house when he did it!
As if that cowardice weren’t enough, he just admitted to having an affair. Hey, at least he was ending it.
Touché!
In all fairness, they do have a point - 'babe' is now officially an ex. We love this person's quick wit and sense of humor, and we want to believe that they were joking playfully when they told 'babe' that they were totally replaceable.
Let's hope 'babe' understood it was all in good fun and there were no hard feelings. And nobody became an ex.
Bus Money
The first part of this note isn't so bad, if you chose to ignore the fact that this person thinks writing a last-minute sharpie letter on a dollar bill is 'putting a lot of thought into it'.
At least they were considerate enough to offer to share the car and leave a dollar for the bus. We think Mary should spend as much time mourning this relationship as this person spent writing that note.
Cat Got Your Nose?
After a breakup, it's natural to want answers. But as the adage goes, be careful what you wish for. Sometimes the answers you will get are, well, weird. This person apparently had an unwavering smell of cat, and that was too much for his partner to deal with. Now, what exactly does that mean? Do they mean that they smell like cat pee? Or just, like, a general smell of cat..?
Cats, to our knowledge, don't have such an offensive smell, and they certainly smell better by dogs, if we're going to compare species. We would have to argue that if this person wanted to make things work, they would have worked through the cat thing, or at the very least told their partner that they smell like cats. In our humble opinion.
BFF Fail
We wouldn't want to be around when Derek finds out what his best friend just did. On the other hand, maybe it was all an elaborate plan so Derek didn't have to deal with the breakup drama.
Not that his BFF is doing a better job - telling someone your boyfriend hasn't liked you for months is pretty brutal. And uncalled for. Come on guys, grow a pair. Both of you.