It seems like Amanda was playing the field in a big way, casting the broadest net possible to catch the right fist for her hook…? That analogy got away from us a little bit.
If we’re doing the math right, she was stringing along three different guys simultaneously, and then she also decided to get back with her ex. Good luck, we guess. We will be here talking about how glad we are to dodge that collective bullet. Amanda couldn’t even be bothered to break up with all three of them individually.
Singing the Wrong Tune
So let's get this straight. Just so we're clear. So that we understand what's going on here, one person, Clark, sends, "I think we should break up" in quotes, and Blue agrees, thinking that a split is for the best. Clark says that they were quoting a song.
Blue switches and says yes, that's what I was doing. Everybody is relieved. And we're supposed to believe this was anything other than a gag so they could take a screenshot and post it on the internet? We're not buying it. Try a little harder next time.
Uh, Sorry
We get that sending a text to the wrong person can happen, but this seems suspicious. Do you accidentally text a question about a breakup to the person who was going to be broken up with? It doesn't taste right. It's got a scent to it. It feels a bit off.
This (like we're guessing is true for so many others on this list) is staged. If Jenna was being told about an impending breakup, she wouldn't shout TELL ME at whoever the random texter is. Instead, she would start screaming at Josh. At the very least, it's a way to make Jenna the one to break it off.
Time to Drop Some Weight
It's always lovely being told precisely what you need to do to improve your life, and many people head to the doctor for that reason. They don't always hear what they want to hear, but it's usually the proper advice. This doc has told someone to dump their significant other.
This seems a little extreme, but we didn't go to medical school, so we'll give the doc the benefit of the doubt. Then again, the recipient of this breakup message is still labeled Bae, complete with a cryptic emoji, so maybe it isn't as extreme as all that.
This Is What I Think of Your Valentine's Present
After a bad breakup, there has to be some catharsis, some release. All the feelings being pent up for that long need somewhere to go. Unfortunately, the emotions often go into the destructive category, often targeted directly at the ex's possessions or the gifts they handed out.
For example, this photo shows us that a giant bear with a big heart will go up in big flames once you introduce a lighter. We've never set fire to a stuffed animal (we know, we're lame), so we'd be interested in seeing how quickly it goes up. Hopefully, that's the only thing that went up, though.