Two people are dating, but it turns out there’s a third – her name is Zoey, and she is just as unhappy about “Mark” cheating as the original girlfriend. It’s good that these two girls realize who is to blame in this situation – Mark.
We don’t know what they get up to, but it seems right out of a raunchy high school comedy movie. Incredibly, Mark could string along two women for two years, especially in an age with cell phones, the internet, and social media.
Running Out of Patience
Some exes are delusional. They can't move on, so they want to pretend that you are also hung up on them and thinking about them 24/7. So they message you out of the blue with dumb questions like "What are the top 5 things you would do if you saw me?" What does that even mean? What kind of response is this guy even hoping for?
Luckily, his ex is more than familiar with this guy's antics, and she wasn't going to shy away. She made it clear that her only goal is to get as far away as humanly possible, and she's factored in break times, even.
You Need to Be More Upset
We feel both of these people might have dodged a bullet if that's the kind of spelling and grammar they will deploy during these critical messages. Also, while the breakup text might have been brutal and swift, the green side doesn't mind that much. They are busy.
There are things to be done, and crying over a relationship that wasn't going to go the distance isn't on the list. We hope the person did text the same thing over and over. That will show Green.
An Important Metric
Some things are, simply put, impossible to ignore. In the animated movie canon, the death of Simba's father, Mufasa, is one of them. Of course, you have to respond emotionally, but some people have the wrong one. For instance, this person was able to laugh.
Laugh! Sure, maybe you've seen it a dozen times, but to be able to laugh at such an event is a clear sign of a cruel soul. Most likely, this isn't an actual breakup, but it will give the other half of the relationship pause when thinking about their future.
Spitting Bars
When someone breaks up with you – or dumps you, as seems to be the correct term here – it can be hard to form a good response. This person has no problem firing back with a poem that, while might not be original, certainly helps soften the blow.
We're a little upset that the person wasn't able to use the proper form of the word "too" in the last line, but all of these things are just coming from high school anyway. It's not like they're there to learn. We on the internet need all the drama we can get.