First things first, did you know that carrots, the innocent orange roots we all love, are already high in sugar? Carrots are so sweet you might as well be munching on candy. Which is why glazing carrots are almost like preemptively knocking your own teeth out.
If you’re brave enough to venture into the land of tooth-aching sweetness, go ahead and indulge. Just be prepared for the consequences. Perhaps keep a dentist on speed dial or invest in some extra-strength toothpaste. It’s a sugary disaster waiting to happen. As for us, we like carrots in their natural, crunchy glory. Why drench them in sugar?
Twinkies
For many baby boomers, the thought of Twinkie-free shelves and cupboards is a serious downer. These golden goodies have become synonymous with a bygone era. After the Cuban missile crisis, a common joke circulated that only cockroaches and Twinkies would survive a nuclear meltdown. Talk about resilience!
All jokes aside, it makes us wonder what goes into the making of these otherwise soft and gushy treats. It must be some seriously sketchy stuff. Twinkies are highly processed and unhealthy snacks. If that wasn’t bad enough, people have gone the extra mile by deep-frying them. That’s just wrong on so many levels.
White People Tacos
It's time we have a serious chat about the state of tacos. The beloved dish has been completely hijacked and overshadowed by its obnoxious "white" cousin. You know which imposter we're talking about—the one with salad toppings, yellow cheese, flavorless ground beef, and a generous dollop of sour cream. It's time to put an end to this culinary charade.
So, what makes a taco truly authentic? A soft corn tortilla cradling strips of simmered, spicy beef complemented by the freshness of cilantro and the zing of onions. The true symphony of taste transports you to the heart of Mexico. No more unoriginal crap masquerading as tacos. We need to reclaim the real deal.
Fruitcake
The cake looks like it should go right on the top of a Christmas tree and not in a human's body. According to Urban Dictionary, fruitcake also refers to somebody who is completely insane. Makes sense because to make or eat this cake, you better be just that. At least that way, you'd have an excuse.
While fruitcake is a very traditional holiday food, it seems that millennials' obsession with health and fitness might override the tradition. Are we seeing an end to the universally despised fruitcake era? Hopefully soon. These sugar-filled dense cakes don’t align with anybody's New Year's resolutions.
Big Macs
The mighty Big Mac just isn't cutting it with young millennials. Believe it or not, only one in five millennials has dared to take a bite out of a Big Mac. The burger that once ruled the fast-food kingdom is facing a serious popularity crisis. Why? Maybe it’s just us, but have you seen the grease on that thing? The world has plenty of alternative burger joints today.
They might come at a slightly higher price tag, but what you're paying for is fresh produce, high-quality bread, and most of all, peace of mind. Newsflash: you can enjoy a burger without having to worry about cardiac arrest. So, stop and walk away slowly from that Big Mac!