At first, we thought this was the Eurovision Song Contest somewhere in the late 1970s, and Spain was about to perform with a lead singer and a bunch of cute kids. Then we realized it was summer 2013, Jean-Paul Gaultier was presenting his new collection, and the kids….well, we have no idea what they were doing there.
Is this supposed to be some kind of pick-about game? Who are these children hiding from? Doesn’t the model know they are under her dress? We have so many questions and so few answers to share. God help us, and God help that dress.
For the Trés Chic Bride
As your eyes start from her feet all the way up to the boat neckline and cap sleeve, you notice something’s a little off. Actually, maybe a lot. With something that looks like it’s come from the Star Wars universe or the depths of the Mariana trench, we’re kind of confused by this look. It’s as far away from mesh as possible and closer to rings of plastic tubing.
While this look is “runway” and might not be for everybody, surely some chic bride will buy into the designer’s spiel and don it for her wedding day. Avant-garde or not, our visions of bridalwear are being challenged. To the absolute limit!
And It's Spring
Although this dress is something that no bride will ever wear, and although some may say it is the weirdest gown they have ever set their eyes on, there is something about this design that we like. For some reason, we cannot get our eye off it, and there is something very comforting about the whole appearance.
The dress sits perfectly on the model, the light green color spreads calmness and freshness, and even the strange branches fall down from her head....well, we can't get our eyes off them! If a bride would insist on wearing a dress like this on her big day, who are we to say anything?
It Must Be…Magic!
So this bride seems to be, um...levitating because there’s no way that she can easily walk down the runway with her knees bound so tightly together! We’re not sure which designer thought this dress was a good idea, but it kind of looks like there’s another person hiding underneath that dress. If you’ve ever seen Muppets From Space or Austin Powers in Goldmember, you’ll immediately wonder if there’s a dwarf under there somewhere.
But hey, the top half looks rather elegant. Points for trying? Maybe she should have had her photo taken from the waist up, letting the viewers only imagine what the bottom part looked like.
She has a crown, a scepter, and a heavy, bejeweled back piece. She is ready for the carnival. Everyone has been waiting all year for Rio de Janeiro's prime time, where anything goes and all are welcome. If you do have a golden snake adorning your head and making you look completely out of proportion.
She is ready to hit the streets and samba all night long. Oh, wait, wedding. That’s what she’s ready for. We can only hope that this outfit is not as heavy as it looks so she can dance, if not samba, then at least an Austrian waltz.