Well isn’t that just the most great-uncle thing someone could possibly do. Not only did he spend his life stopping the spread of the gub’ment, but he also decided to get their goat one last time after he had moved on to the great barbecue party in the sky. Indeed, it was the prime contents of the outhouse that the rulers of the land received.
Y’all want to treat the water? Go on and treat that water. Still, the kids of the great-uncle did something in the letter of the law if not the spirit by boxing up the uncle’s books inside the outhouse. How big was this outhouse? Well, you do need reading material.
No Love Lost There
It's a sad fact of life that mothers and daughters don't always get along. Sure, some of them get along like a house on fire, but then there are those that are more likely to actually set the house on fire. This is one such example, with the mother of the equation refusing to give her daughter so much as a bent penny.
She didn't even want the daughter at her funeral – didn't even want the daughter to know she had passed until after she was in the ground. Things must have been cold to spend so much legal real estate making sure she got the point across.
The Tricks of the Trade
Grampa knew how to get ahead in business, and he was sure to pass on the tactics to his kin after he was gone from the Earth. Such family treasures are going to go to good use – this is the kind of tie that would also be a great addition to a stuffy wedding outfit.
Of course, the use in business is still quite an option, though there are plenty of other, far more ridiculous ties that you can find nowadays thanks to the internet. A bunch of pink elephants on a blue background seems almost quaint compared to some of the eye-popping options out there now. But still, a nice gift.
Oh, Don't Worry, You're Getting Something All Right
Apparently, this is a well-known tactic to make sure an estranged child gets exactly what he or she deserves, while the other or others actually do get what they deserve. By making sure the estranged child is named and given something, it makes it much more difficult for them to raise a stink and create a legal battle.
What's better in this story is that the will states the son will get a dollar for reasons he knows. If he wants to dispute it, he might have to make those reasons known publicly. If they're embarrassing, or he wants to keep them private for another reason, he'll take the one dollar and like it.
Getting in One Last Crack
Even if you've done everything else right, kids can still be a struggle. You might have married the love of your life, created a successful business, became a famous artist of some kind, but those kids still won't be any good. It happens to a lot of people.
The guy who left this will must have had to think on this for a long time since one of the things he left to his eldest daughter was something she could use to give herself a vibe check. Did she? No, probably not. The eldest children tend not to take the advice of others, especially not their dads.