Kids are known to go on the offensive. They’ll fire off broadsides like they’re at Midway, hardly caring who they hit with their vicious truths. Trust us, you almost never have to tell anyone that they have a lot of pimples. The mirror tells them every time they go to the bathroom.
The best way to get back at the kid for this kind of thing is find them in, oh, nine or ten years, and deliver the same thing, verbatim, as they’re glumly trying to wash their face to get all the oil off. That’s when you strike.
Time to Hit the Gym
Sometimes, even though kids can be pretty brutal with the way they deliver information, they'll still tell you something that you need to hear. Maybe you've gone to Cambodia for a little while to get away from life. Help the less fortunate, you know? Something that really gives you something to feel good about.
But then a little snot from an orphanage comes up to you and tells you that you're a big, fat fatty. There's no way to avoid the issue anymore. You're going to have to change things yourself. Grab some weights, dump the soda, and get moving.
Looking for the Facts
Kids are, at their core, inquisitive. They want to know everything about the world around them, and they don't care who they're going to insult to get the information. In this example, the kid didn't even want to hurt anybody's feelings or anything like that. He just wanted to figure out what he could do differently.
This gives the storyteller a wonderful opportunity. Answers such as “I didn't eat my vegetables” are perhaps the best options, but you could go all the way to “I'm you from the future” if you wanted.
It's Almost as if He's Trying to Tell Me Something
Maybe it's because a lot of kids spend a good amount of time at gut height, but they really seem to love bringing up how big a person is, whether that's because of pregnancy or just plain old “too many pizzas.”
Of course, kids don't really start to get big until they hit the double digits, so maybe this tot just didn't realize how small he really was in comparison to everything.
A Sobering Moment
Yeah, okay, fine, but let's focus on the important stuff here. We don't know what the little girl was dealing with here, but it's nice to see that her dad was there to make things a little easier. Death probably doesn't seem as final to most young kids.
It might not start to actually become something they consider until they're in high school or college. Maybe even after that. Lots of young people don't have any kind of life insurance, even if they might want to have it around.